


Family Portrait

by Pandora (paperclipbutterfly)



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: A kaleidoscope of personalities, Alternate Universe - Episode, And far too many terrible one-liners to count, Birthday, But mostly angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Raven's mirror makes a cameo, but there is fluff!, no ships, stopping the end of the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 09:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13831374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperclipbutterfly/pseuds/Pandora
Summary: It's Raven's birthday, and friends and family alike (including her demon father) want to celebrate it, whether she wants to or not. With her evil father trying to regain his control over her and her friends just trying to throw a decent party, the day promises to be full of surprises.Think of this as an alternative version of the Birthmark/The End episodes of Teen Titans written shortly before Season 4 kicked off in February 2005.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Circa November 2004, speculation regarding Raven's season arc was in full swing. What follows here is where my idle hands went taka-tap-tapping while waiting with bated breath for the new season to begin. Since I'm consolidating my fanfics all in one place now, I figured it was time to shuffle this one in, also.
> 
> Enjoy!

There was darkness all around; it went on in all directions without end. It was so unbelievably cold and dank. It engulfed Raven like an angry sea swallows a little boat. And from the blackness there grew the sound of maniacal laughter. _His_ laughter. She tensed up in a battle stance, ready to fight the moment he appeared.

His voice pierced her to her soul; she was so unprepared to hear it again. “Foolish Raven,” he taunted. She whirled around and sent a blackened blast toward the sound preemptively, startled. “You cannot possibly think you can defeat me. It is inevitable; you _will_ be mine.”

Raven’s eyes began to glow and her hands radiated the dark energy. “Show yourself!” she cried, and sent another blackened energy ball exploding into the darkness beyond.

The voice of Trigon paid her no mind; the laughter came bubbling out of the darkness anew. “You have grown very strong since last I saw you. I can feel the power within you and sense the lack of control you have over it.” He laughed again. “You think your foolish meditating can keep me away? You have outgrown it, Raven; you know you have. I can smell your fear. It is time that I reclaim what is mine. I will have you.”

“Never,” she growled.

The blackness took form and began to creep up her legs, rooting her in place. It was biting and icy on her skin. Raven tried to levitate but the dark sludge held her down. As she struggled to break free, four glowing red eyes penetrated the shadows.

“Struggle all you wish,” Trigon goaded. “It will do you no good. I promise you the more you resist me, the more harm it will do.”

Raven blasted away the creeping darkness around her legs and readied her powers once more, focusing all her attention on the four monstrous eyes. She levitated until she was level with the evil red glow that emanated from them.

“I don’t care if you hurt me, I’ll never join you,” she said, and crossed her arms in front of her. “Azarath metrion zinthos!”

She hurled an energy blast at the red glow, but it disappeared. The eyes moved, reappearing to her right. She tried again to hit them with her dark powers, but they again eluded her, vanishing and re-emerging behind her. Once more she tried to destroy them, and once more the red glow departed before the black energy could defeat it. She anticipated its final position to her left, and threw one final energy blast the instant they appeared. The attack succeeded in hitting the target and the red eyes began to fade away, but Trigon’s voice was as strong as ever.

“My dear child,” he said, malice dripping from each word. “Who ever said anything about hurting _you_?”

A chill ran beneath her cloak and up her spine. Trigon’s malevolent chuckle echoed in the shadows and finally there was light. The soft glow chased the shadows away and Raven could finally see what her struggling had wrought.

The Titans all lay fallen around her. Cyborg’s left arm lay a few feet from his body, and his circuits were a sickly gray color instead of their usual bright blue glow. Starfire was sprawled face down a few feet away, her green eyes closed and her red hair strewn in every direction. Beastboy lay face up, the lower half of his body still somewhat ape in nature, as though he couldn’t revert to his human form fast enough before he was struck down. Robin was on his side a few feet away from him, his cape half covering his face like a shroud. They were all dead. And it was all Raven’s fault.

“No,” she whispered, and fell to her knees. Trigon’s laughter found new strength in his daughter’s anguish, and it reverberated all around her, mocking her grief.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…”


	2. Chapter 2

“…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Raven sat bolt upright in her bed, sweating and gasping for breath. The moment she awoke, the energy that she’d been exerting as she dreamt was released; it toppled the two-headed bust by the door and sent all her books and scrolls to the floor, loose pages floating down after them.

Her heart raced and for a moment she was confused, but when she realized what had happened she was more concerned than bewildered. She forced her heart to slow down with a few deep breaths.

_I was using my powers… in my sleep?? That hasn’t happened since I was…_

_THUNK THUNK THUNK!_ “Raven! Are you alright in there?!” It was Robin’s voice at her door, sounding worried.

Raven glanced quickly around the mess that was her room. She muttered to herself sarcastically, “Well, this is _just_ what I need at…” She squinted at the small clock on her end table. “…three in the morning.”

She swung her legs out from under the blankets of her warm bed. The air was cold in comparison, and goose bumps pricked at her skin. She grabbed her cloak and threw it around her shoulders, holding it together with her hands.

“Raven?! In two seconds we’re breaking the door down!” Cyborg’s voice this time.

“I’m coming!” she shouted and started toward the door, moving random books and papers out of the way with her powers as she went. She didn’t need or want to have to fix the door again.

Raven opened the door part way to see the other Titans standing out in the hall. Starfire held a soft green glow in her hands to light the corridor; they all looked tired but ready for trouble. Except Beastboy. He was leaning against the far wall, nodding to sleep standing up.

“Are you alright?” Robin asked directly.

“I’m fine,” Raven lied.

“You don’t look fine,” Cyborg said, and looked past her at the mess on the floor. “What happened to your room?”

Raven glanced behind her. “Just… redecorating.”

Starfire floated upward and glanced inside as well. “You are… trying to emulate Beastboy’s style of dwelling, correct?” she asked innocently.

Beastboy woke up fully at the sound of this and started forward. “It’s really _that_ bad in there? Lemme see.”

“Enough,” Robin said, stopping the subject change and getting back to business. He gave Raven a stern but concerned look. “Raven, this is the fourth time this week we’ve woken up to you screaming.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” she said sincerely.

“You’re sorry? I’m _TIRED_ ,” Beastboy chimed in, before he was whacked upside the head by Cyborg.

“It was just a bad dream…” Raven began.

“Which you won’t tell us about,” Robin finished.

 _You wouldn’t understand._ She shrugged. “I attribute it to Beastboy’s bad cooking.”

Beastboy’s face darkened. “You know, it’s funny… _I’m_ catching a lot more flak here than _she_ is, and I’m not even the one waking everybody up at all hours of the night.”

“These nightmares aren’t going away by themselves, Raven. You have to talk it out.” Robin’s voice edged on pleading.

“Not tonight,” Raven said. She looked at each of her friends and said, “I’ll handle it.”

With that she ended the conversation by sliding the door firmly shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Beastboy crossed his arms. “Couldn’t see _that_ coming a mile away.”

Cyborg gave a loud and exaggerated yawn. “Let her alone, B. She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” He started down the hall. “C’mon y’all. Back to bed.”

From the other side of the door Raven listened to the voices of her friends as they faded down the hall before she started cleaning up the mess she had made while she slept. It had been years since she’d used her powers in her sleep. Even the past few nights of waking up to these visions didn’t provoke such a reaction. Something was coming; she was sure of it. A veil of apprehension hung over her, and while she said she’d handle it, Raven was very unsure of how to do so.

There came a very gentle knocking at her door. Raven decided not to open it; she didn’t want any more visitors tonight.

“Raven?” Starfire’s voice came very softly from beyond the door. “I imagine you have already gone back to sleep, but in the event you are still awake and troubled I have brought the ‘herbal tea’ you enjoy in the hope that it will help you rest. It is on the floor by the wall. Goodnight.”

Raven waited until it was silent in the hall again before opening a portal in the wall and sticking her head through. The tray was on the floor where her friend had left it. She picked it up and ducked back through the portal before sealing it closed.

She set the tray on her bed and examined its contents: kettle of hot water, a cup and spoon, a sugar bowl, and tea bags. It all looked normal enough.

“No alien fixings. That’s a relief.” She set a bag brewing in the little cup; the soothing smell of herbs and tea wafted around her cold room. The heat from the kettle was welcome; her hands were like ice. Raven lifted the top of the sugar bowl only to discover it didn’t hold sugar but some sort of green and orange slime that smelled like Beastboy’s socks. She slammed the lid quickly back down and muttered dryly, “I spoke too soon. Blech.”

Raven sipped her tea and walked to the window. The moon was full, and there was a red tint to it, a stain on its white face like blood. The stars sparkled and the city was quiet. Almost eerily so. She decided to meditate rather than go back to sleep; she was tired, but it was the only way to ensure she wouldn’t have another vision and wake her friends again.

She placed her tea on the nightstand and levitated off the floor, facing the dark night sky. Raven crossed her legs and assumed her normal meditative position, all prepared to sink into the silence when a buzzing sound passed in front of her, distracting her thoughts. She lost her patience and trapped the little green fly in a blackened orb quickly.

“Are you _lost_?” she asked sharply. Beastboy resumed his human form in a hurry, and Raven released her powers, dropping him on the floor.

“Heh heh… should have known that wouldn’t work twice,” he said sheepishly, and scratched the back of his head. “I just wanted to make sure you were…”

“I said I was fine,” Raven interjected, visibly irritated.

Beastboy smiled weakly. “No offense or anything, but I’m pretty sure you’d say that even if your arm had just fallen off.”

She glared at him. “It hasn’t. This is nothing. It’s my problem, and I’ll…”

“Deal with it. I know.” He looked at her dresser, but the mirror that once was there had been moved to a safer location. “Still haven’t forgotten our little adventure in Wonderland.”

Raven shot him a look that could kill small animals. “Get out of my room.”

Beastboy frowned. “You know, Raven, we’re trying to give you your space and everything, but at this point you’ve got acres of it and it’s not really doing you very much good, is it?” He turned to leave. “You just let us know when you want our help. How’s that sound?”

“ _Out_.”

He left. At last there was silence, but nagging pangs of guilt poked at the back of her mind. She pushed them away. She resumed her position and glanced at the clock. It was now almost four.

Raven sighed. “Happy birthday, Raven,” she said quietly to herself before focusing all her attention on nothing at all.

“Azarath metrion zinthos… azarath metrion zinthos…”


	4. Chapter 4

“Azarath metrion zinthos… azarath metrion zinthos…”

Raven opened her eyes to a bright blue late afternoon sky. She sighed and stretched her legs down to the ground, staring out at the reflection of the orange sun sparkling in the blue ocean.

The morning of Raven’s birthday had passed uneventfully following the tiff with Beastboy. She meditated for some time before sneaking to the kitchen for breakfast before the others had gotten up. Raven didn’t need to fight for the bathroom this morning either; the thought crossed her mind that maybe she should wake up obscenely early every morning to avoid the wait, except she was so tired she knew that continuing such a routine wasn’t practical. She read a book and a half before someone came knocking at her door, which she didn’t open. She slipped up and out of her room through the ceiling.

Raven spent the rest of her time on the roof of the Tower, deep in meditation. She was aware of the door to the roof opening and closing again some hours before, but she ignored it. No one had come bother her for the rest of the morning.

She wished the day were already over. Raven never felt the day of her birth was something to be celebrated. It was just another day in a long procession of days that made her a little older. A little wiser. A little more powerful. A little more of a reason for him to want her to be by his side.

It’s not like she had to worry about any sort of celebration. Raven never told her friends what day her birthday was for just that reason. They had birthdays, grand mini-celebrations with decorations and presents and all of that. Even Starfire had adopted a day to be her Earth birthday. After the first year together they had all celebrated their birthdays. Raven let hers pass. Cyborg had asked her once when her birthday was. She said it had passed and not to ask again. He didn’t.

It was a nice day. If there weren’t a distinct feeling of apprehension gnawing in the pit of her gut, Raven wouldn’t think anything of this day. But there was. Something was coming. She wasn’t certain the form it would take, but it wasn’t going to be pretty.

As if right on cue, her communicator went off. Raven opened it quickly to Robin’s tense face and an urgent “Raven, trouble! Get to the living room right now!” She put it away and took one last look at the peaceful view.

_I knew it was too good to last._

She slipped through the roof, through the ceiling of her room, and ran the rest of the way to the living room doors. Raven pressed the panel on the wall and they slid open with a _whoosh_. There was darkness beyond the door. A chill ran up her spine.

“Hello?” she called, feeling along the wall for the light switch. “Robin? Starfire? Anybody? What’s the big…?” She found the switch and flicked it on.

Raven was completely unprepared for the horrific sight that lay before her. She never saw it coming.


	5. Chapter 5

“SURPRISE!” the Titans yelled cheerfully, jumping from their hiding places behind the sofa and table.

Raven shrieked and backed against the wall. She was surrounded on all sides by the very celebration she had wanted to avoid. She wouldn’t have felt more cornered if all the hounds of hell had her backed against a never-ending abyss, sans powers.

Her friends had been very busy that morning while she meditated on the roof, completely unaware of all that was going on just a few floors down. Blue and purple streamers hung from the ceiling and the TV, lining the tables and the counters; even the sofa had been decked out in colored paper ribbons. There was confetti on the floor and a big banner that read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAVEN!” in Starfire’s bold looping handwriting hung high on the wall. A big cake with candles stuck in it was on the kitchen table, surrounded by a few little gifts wrapped in all different manners of technique, from random brown paper bag scraps and tape to shiny foil adorned with colorful trimming.

It was all really rather way too much. Raven felt an unjustified resentment growing in her, accompanied by a definite feeling of embarrassment. She did NOT want to be the center of attention, especially not today.

Starfire flew over and immediately embraced the increasingly irritated Raven. “Oh, happy birthday, friend! You were surprised, yes?”

“To put it mildly,” Raven said in a deadpan tone of voice. “And what have I told you about hugging me?” She pried herself from Starfire’s death-squeeze and readjusted her cloak.

Beastboy sidled beside her out of nowhere. “So… what do you think? Pretty cool party, huh?”

Raven gave him an icy glance. “If by ‘cool’ you mean completely unnecessary and unwanted, then yes.”

Cyborg muttered an “I told you so” under his breath.

Starfire looked confused and even a little hurt. “You are… displeased with our party?”

“When did I _ever_ give you people _any_ indication that throwing me a birthday party was a good idea?”

Beastboy raised an eyebrow at her and threw his hands up. “You have _seriously_ got to lighten up, Raven. It’s your _birthday_. We’re _supposed_ to celebrate it.”

Robin came around from behind the kitchen table. “We weren’t trying to make you angry, Raven… we just thought it might be nice to do something special for your birthday,” he said, trying to calm down the flaring tempers. “It only comes once a year, after all.”

“Dude, _we’re_ the ones who should be mad at _her_!” Beastboy argued and stuck his finger in Raven’s face in an accusatory manner. “Withholding vital excuses to eat cake all day should be illegal!”

Raven swatted his hand away, her patience wearing thinner and thinner. She looked at her friends and saw their disappointment at her reaction. She knew they were only trying to be nice, and perhaps if she weren’t so tired she might have maybe _possibly_ let them. As it was, Raven’s fuse had grown even shorter than usual, and she just didn’t think she could handle this party thing for more than five minutes, never mind the rest of the day.

_Bend._ She urged herself. _Just a little. Just for a little while, and then it can be over. And next time they’ll know better._

Raven sighed and forced the smallest of smiles. “So… I don’t do parties. What’s first?”


	6. Chapter 6

Starfire went “Eeee!” happily, and flew off to grab the presents.

Beastboy screamed, “Cake first!” and he held it up in front of Raven’s face. “I made it. It’s the most fantastic tasting cake ever. Secret recipe,” he confided and ran off to find a lighter for the candles.

Cyborg came up beside Raven and said quietly, “Which of course means that cake is laced with tofu and soy junk, guaranteed. I’ve got the real stuff in the fridge.” He smiled. “How much are you hating this right now?”

“I’d rather attempt tanning on the surface of the sun,” Raven said dryly. “If they start singing, this is going to get ugly.”

Cyborg laughed. “No worries. Me and Robin instated a ‘no singing’ policy for our own safety.”

“How perceptive of you.” Raven cocked her head and gave Cyborg a sideways glance. “What I want to know is how you guys knew my birthday was today. I never told you…”

“I can answer that,” Robin said, and handed her a piece of parchment. “Star found this on the front door this morning… chaos ensued.”

It was a single piece of heavy gray paper folded in half like a card with the words “Happy Birthday, Raven” scrawled in beautiful black script across the front. She held her breath; the handwriting was painfully familiar to her.

She looked up with almost pleading eyes. “You didn’t…”

Robin held his hands up defensively. “No one read it… I swear. It’s been in my belt all day.”

She opened the card to a pleasant little note that filled her with dread:

 

            Dear Raven~

Wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I’ll be by this afternoon to give you your present. We should have a talk while I’m here.

                                                                        Love always,

                                                                            Arella

 

_Please, no. Not now._

“Raven? You okay?” She looked up to see Cyborg and Robin watching her, looking both curious and concerned.

She regained her composure. “I wish everyone would stop asking me that. I’m fine.”

 _THUNK, THUNK, THUNK!_ There came a very loud hollow knock at the front door. Raven’s heart skipped a beat.

“Glorious! It is the deliverer of pizza!” Starfire said cheerfully, and flew toward the door.

“Yeah! Pizza’s here!” Beastboy abandoned his search for a lighter and stormed the door, changing quickly to cheetah and back again to beat Starfire there. “Dude, it’s about time. My stomach was about to eat itself, I’m so hungry!”

He opened the front door wide, and everyone stood completely bewildered and confused by the figure standing in the light of the late afternoon sun.


	7. Chapter 7

The woman standing in the doorway wasn’t very tall, probably no taller than Starfire. She wore a long dark dress and a brownish cloak that reached the floor, the hood of which was up and over her head. She pulled it back around her neck to reveal her face, which was attractively framed by shoulder length black hair. There was an indigo gem in the middle of her forehead and the color of her eyes were precisely the same shade as Raven’s. She had a youthful face, though she did look rather weary. The Titans were somewhat taken aback. The woman bore such a striking resemblance to Raven, it was almost as though they were taking a peek into her future.

“Dude…” Beastboy said, looking up at the woman. “You’re not the pizza guy.”

She laughed softly. “No, I’m afraid I’m not,” she said, and looked past him to the inside of the Tower. “I’m looking for my…” Her eyes fell on Raven and she let her words trail off. They stared at one another for a few moments. No one spoke for quite a long while, although they all began to gravitate toward the newcomer at the entrance.

Robin broke the silence. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked, although he had a pretty good idea what the answers to both questions were going to be.

The woman shifted her gaze to his face. “My name is Arella. I’m…”

“My mother,” Raven finished bluntly, crossing her arms.

Beastboy looked at Arella, then at Raven, then back, completely confused. “You’re Raven’s mom?” His face went blank with a sudden realization. “Raven has a mother??”

Cyborg clamped a hand over his face to keep him from talking anymore.

Starfire floated to Arella and nudged her inside, closing the front door. “Welcome, Raven’s mother! Forgive our rudeness… please come in and join our party.”

“Star, maybe we shouldn’t…” Robin began, noticing that Raven was beginning to lose her cool, but Beastboy broke free of Cyborg’s grip and interrupted him.

“Hold on just one second,” he said loudly, and grasped at Arella’s cloak. “If you’re _really_ Raven’s mom, maybe _you_ can answer a few things we’ve been dying to find out about her.”

Arella smiled. “Like what?”

“ALRIGHT! THAT’S IT!” Raven shouted, dark energy crackling around her. There was literally fire in her eyes. “I declare this party officially _OVER_.”

Before anyone could object, she cast her dark powers over the room. She and Arella sank into the floor, and the black energy followed them. Only the four Titans remained in the Tower.

Cyborg shook his head. “I knew this wasn’t gonna end well.”

“She can’t do that!” Beastboy protested. “She can’t just end the party before it even gets started! We didn’t get to have cake yet!”

Everyone groaned.


	8. Chapter 8

Raven didn’t transport them far; all she wanted was to get her mother _away_ from her friends. She brought the two of them up from the rocks outside the Tower. The sun had sunk even lower toward the horizon, bathing the sky in bright, cheerful colors, which served as a wonderful contrast to Raven’s dark disposition.

Arella faced the ocean, soaking up the warm glow of the sun. “You had a birthday party, Raven? And you didn’t invite me?” She smiled to show her daughter she was joking, but Raven was not in the mood for levity.

“You’ll excuse me, I’m sure,” Raven said crossly, coming up beside her. “The post office doesn’t have inter-dimensional service.”

Arella’s face fell a little. That remark had come a little earlier than she had expected, and though she had prepared herself for it, it still hurt. They were quiet for a time, just staring at the sun and the ocean.

After it had become sufficiently awkward, Arella took another stab at conversation. “Your friends are very…”

“Strange?” Raven suggested dryly.

“Well, that too,” Arella allowed. “But they seem nice. Friendly.”

“Very unlike me, right?” The words tasted like ash in her mouth, but Raven just had to say them.

Arella frowned. “Raven, please don’t…”

“Why exactly are you here?” Raven interrupted impatiently. “And don’t say you wanted to wish me a happy birthday. I know that’s a lie.”

Arella sat down on a rock and sighed. “I did, even if that wasn’t my only purpose.” She rested her arms on her knees and stared at the city, avoiding her daughter’s harsh looks. “I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit you since you left Azarath, Raven. I was… afraid to come back here. There are a lot of unhappy memories on this world for me.”

Raven let her face soften and sat beside her mother. Their relationship had been a rocky one, but it was somewhat heartening to see Arella trying. Raven knew she wasn’t the easiest daughter to have.

Arella pulled a very small package from beneath her cloak and handed it to Raven. “Happy birthday, dear.”

Raven tore open the plain paper wrapping and opened the little box. There was a silver chain inside, with an irregular shaped clear crystal pendant hanging from it.

“Umm… thanks,” Raven said, and put it around her neck. She wasn’t the jewelry type; in the superhero line of work, it was impractical to wear pretty things that would just end up getting lost or broken in battle.

“I know it’s not your style,” Arella said, almost as if reading her thoughts. “But I hope you’ll wear it. The pendant was blessed in the Temple… it can harness your excess energies and help you to…”

“Control my powers?” Raven finished, feeling somewhat offended. “That’s a little insulting.”

“You’re getting older, more powerful.” Arella shrugged. “I just worry that meditating may not be enough anymore.”

The sentence echoed Trigon’s words so completely that now Raven knew for certain. This visit wasn’t supposed to be a pleasant one; Arella had yet to reveal her true purpose for coming to Earth. Raven was impatient to hear precisely what her mother wanted to tell her.

“You’ve had visions, too,” Raven said brusquely, catching Arella off guard; she had a guilty look on her face like a child who had been caught stealing from a cookie jar. “What did you see?”

Arella looked at Raven with anxiety in her eyes; when she finally spoke, her voice was very solemn. “This past week I’ve had nightmares… visions… of you, and this place… your friends… and _him_. I came to warn you… I think he’s coming for you. And I think he’s going to come today.”

And there it was. Raven knew that. But when such things take form and are spoken, there’s a certain finality to it all, an inevitability that is less than reassuring.

Arella went on. “I thought perhaps you would come back home with me.”

_EXCUSE me?_ Raven was shocked. It was the most out of place sentence she had ever heard, certainly the absolute last thing she expected Arella to say. She barked out a harsh laugh to hide her surprise.

“Back to Azarath?” she asked rhetorically, and stood up. “So I can do what, exactly? Meditate every hour of every day while every single soul avoids me like the plague, frightened of me? So I can bring his wrath down upon them?”

“You would perhaps prefer to bring his wrath down upon your friends?” Arella retorted.

The details of Raven’s vision rushed back to her, and she felt cornered. She was certain her mother’s request didn’t have the support of the counsel in Azarath; Raven would not be welcome there.

On the other hand, she didn’t want to endanger her friends, especially not with something of this magnitude. Raven had never wanted to be a danger to them; that was why she was meticulously careful about her meditation, to keep her powers in check. If she ever lost control, ever hurt them… she didn’t know what she would do. And she didn’t care to find out, either.

Ultimately, though, there was only one choice she could make. “I can’t,” Raven said decisively. “Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t.” She looked up at the Tower, toward where she was certain—if she knew anything about her friends at all—the Titans were watching from.

_I’d be lost without them._


	9. Chapter 9

Up in the Tower, Beastboy and Starfire shrieked and ran away from the window.

“She totally saw us!” Beastboy cried, turning into an ostrich and hiding his head under a pillow.

Cyborg and Robin were sitting at the kitchen table, eating the pizza that had been delivered shortly after Raven and her mother left.

“I hope so,” Cyborg mumbled, his mouth full of pizza. He swallowed in a big gulp. “The day Raven teaches you a lesson for spying on her all the time, I’m gonna watch and laugh.”

“Seconded,” Robin added, taking another slice.

Beastboy turned back to his normal form. “Dude, if it wasn’t for me and my _occasional_ snooping, we wouldn’t know anything about her at all,” he argued.

“If you didn’t keep bothering her and being nosy, maybe she wouldn’t have left in such a huff,” Cyborg replied.

Starfire took one last peek out the window before flying over to the table and sitting down. “They have been talking for quite a long time. Neither looks very happy.”

“Family issues,” Beastboy chimed in, taking a plain slice for himself. “I bet Raven runs the gamut on those. Puts the ‘fun’ right back in ‘dysfunctional.’”

“Just let her talk to her mother,” Robin said, attempting to end the current conversation. “Doubtless it’s been a very long time since they’ve spoken to each other. They probably have a lot to talk about.”

“Whatever,” Beastboy muttered, eating his entire slice of pizza in one bite. “I just hope the rest of her family tree doesn’t come visiting. I may never get to eat my cake.”

_BRANK! BRANK! BRANK! BRANK!_ Red warning lights accompanied the piercing Tower alarms. The Titans were on their feet immediately, with the exception of Beastboy. He slammed his head on the table in dramatic misery.

“Someone up there must really hate me,” he lamented as Robin ran to the computer console.

“Nah,” Cyborg said cheerfully, yanking Beastboy up from the kitchen table. “They just don’t want you to have dessert.”

“Same thing.”

“There’s a disturbance downtown. A fairly big one,” Robin said, turning away from the computer screens. “Titans, go!”

“What about Raven?” Starfire asked. “Shall I go fetch her?”

Robin thought for a second. “No, let her stay,” he decided. “We should be able to handle it until she’s done.” He ran out the door with Beastboy at his heels. Starfire hesitated.

“Come on, Star,” Cyborg said, heading for the door himself. “She’ll catch up to us in no time.”

“I am sure you are right,” Starfire said quietly, lifting off the floor to follow the retreating figures of her friends. “But it feels wrong not to give her the option.”


	10. Chapter 10

By this time the sun had just barely touched the horizon and twilight was beginning to fall above its radiant orange glow. Both Raven and Arella knew that by the time the day was finished, everything that they knew would be altered completely; whether it would be for better or worse was still open to question.

“What will you do?” Arella asked quietly.

Raven averted her gaze from the Tower to her mother’s concerned eyes. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But if this evil is coming here, I have to tell my friends first. It’s not fair to keep them in the dark anymore… not when they’re going to be risking their lives to save the world from my past.”

“You never told them,” Arella repeated. She was surprised, though she knew she shouldn’t be. Raven was distant by nature; why would it be so hard to believe that she kept her origins a secret?

“That’s not true,” Raven replied. “They each know _something_ … just none knows _everything_.”

“Clever justification,” Arella commented evenly.

Raven’s expression hardened. “You wouldn’t understand. I’m already… creepy enough without adding demon heritage to the mix.”

“You think they would reject you?”

Raven turned carefully away. “Everyone else did.” She paused to regain control of herself before she went on. “I’m trying hard to be good… to _do_ good. But I’m so dark inside… I feel it. It never goes away. It’s always there, that darkness.” Even as she talked about it, Raven could feel the darkness rising as she worked herself up, burning and dangerous. “And it’s all his doing. I… I just…”

Arella put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t say it, Raven. Don’t give him the opportunity he’s looking for.”

Raven had forgotten how calming a mother’s touch could be. She bit her tongue and regained control of herself once again. “I just want to be more than the daughter of Trigon the Terrible.”

_YOU WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO ME. DENY IT IF YOU LIKE; BY THE TIME DARK FALLS, YOU WILL BE MINE._

They both heard it; Trigon’s voice penetrated mother and daughter to their souls, gripping their hearts like an icy fist. Their reactions were instant: Raven spun around and readied black energy in her fists while Arella gasped and looked about her frantically. They looked at one another and said in unison, “He’s here.”

“I have to get the others,” Raven said quickly, and flew off in a rush. But when she entered the living room, her friends were nowhere to be found. She called for them but she couldn’t find them anywhere.

They left without me?? Raven ran outside where her mother still stood, staring at the far shore.

“Where are your friends?” Arella asked, still looking somewhat shaken.

“They left… they left without me,” Raven panted, a little out of breath. In the distance, an explosion rocked the city. Mother and daughter looked at the flames and smoke in horror.

“I have to go,” Raven said, starting to sound frantic. She lifted off the ground and looked at her mother. Before she knew what she was saying, Raven asked Arella, “Help me fight him?”

Arella looked at her daughter sorrowfully. “Raven… I can’t…”

“Please?”

“I have no power… I’m too weak. He’ll destroy me.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

Raven pulled her hood up over her head as her eyes began to glow. She lifted herself higher in the air. “So am I.” She flew as fast as she could toward the chaos to join the other Titans in battle.

Arella watched her fly away, and she cried. In the past hour she had been granted more insight into her daughter than she had ever gotten in all the years that had passed since Raven’s birth.

It hurt more than words could express that not once in all the time they had spoken did Raven call Arella ‘mother’.


	11. Chapter 11

Downtown, throngs of people ran screaming in terror away from the four-block long calamity that was still taking place. Pieces of buildings came crashing down around them as they escaped the destruction like panicking sheep.

The four Titans battled an enormous red demon with four fiery yellow eyes and long white hair. He stood as tall as a streetlight, a solid mass of bare muscle and claws. He made animalistic noises as he tore apart buildings and ripped a fire hydrant out of the sidewalk to hurl at Robin.

Robin somersaulted out of the way amidst the geyser of water and tossed a few cherry sized explosives at the monster’s feet. They exploded one after another, forcing him back as Starfire threw a series of starbolts at his back from the air. The fiend turned to face her and fired intense energy beams from his eyes. She dodged them and flew in an evasive pattern to keep from being hit.

The beams that missed Starfire as she soared hit whatever was behind her, sending building pieces falling all around. Robin dodged the collapsing stone faces and quickly rolled into an alley to join Cyborg.

“You’re sure about that, right?” he asked tersely as he regrouped.

“Oh, yeah,” Cyborg replied confidently, and turned out of the alley to take a quick shot at the beast with his cannon. “I never forget a face.”

A green grizzly skidded to a halt in the street a few feet away as Cyborg spoke. Beastboy resumed his normal form. “Especially one as hideous as his,” he quipped, and gave a short laugh. “Seriously, Raven must give thanks every day that she didn’t get her looks from her father’s side of the family.”

The monstrous behemoth heard him, and immediately averted his attention from Starfire to Beastboy.

“You are a fool indeed to mock me,” he practically roared. When he spoke, it felt as though your soul had just shattered into a thousand pieces. Beastboy’s usually quick thinking was literally petrified; he couldn’t come up with a single animal to turn into while those four flaming yellow eyes were trained on him. “YOU’LL FIND THAT IDIOCY IS A FATAL MISTAKE, AND ONE YOU WON’T LIVE TO LEARN FROM.”

Beastboy was rooted to the pavement like he was a part of it. He wanted to move; he tried to move, but couldn’t. It was almost as though he were denied an escape.

In the alley, Robin and Cyborg were beginning to become concerned. “What is he doing?” Cyborg asked, readying his cannon again. “Raven may not have gotten her looks from that thing, but I’ll bet my car that’s where she got her powers.”

“Beastboy! Get out of there!” Robin shouted.

“I can’t…” His voice was a quavering and terrified murmur.

The demon stretched forth his hand toward the frightened changeling, literally scared stiff in the street. Cyborg and Robin sprung into action from the alley as Starfire swooped in for an assault from above, but neither attack succeeded; as Starfire attempted to distract the beast’s gaze he grabbed her by her legs and hurled her at the two Titans running toward him down below. Starfire gave a high-pitched scream as she collided with Robin and Cyborg. They all flew backward a city block and hit the cement hard, stunned and now unable to come to their friend’s aid.

The evil creature stretched out his hand again and Beastboy could feel an intense heat welling up within him, as though his blood had just caught fire. His skin felt like it was crawling, and when he looked at his arms he could see his flesh literally bubbling beneath his clothes.

Beastboy screamed and in his panic at last could finally move again. He changed into a bull, and then immediately into a grizzly, and then a gorilla. He writhed on the ground in horrible agony, shifting into bigger and bigger animals that he thought could neutralize or at least be able to stand the burning pain, each animal he became crying out just as he had. It was as though his blood were gasoline that had been ignited within his veins.

The fiend laughed in amusement as he watched the insignificant green pest wriggling on the ground in torment. Beastboy became an elephant and then a T-rex, but nothing relieved the blaze burning in his body, a heat that was without a doubt dissolving his organs and bones to mush. He became human again, thinking surely this was the battle he wasn’t walking away from, wanting to die in his own form.

“TRIGON, STOP!” Raven’s voice came from the sky, and she wrapped dark energy around her father, hurling him away from the suffering Beastboy.

His concentration broken, Trigon’s evil curse was halted before he could turn Beastboy to a pile of smoldering ashes. The foul demon landed with an angry and annoyed grunt some few yards away as Raven knelt beside Beastboy and put up a black shield around them.

“Make it stop,” Beastboy begged pitifully. “Please, make it stop. Or just kill me.”

Raven was horrified at what her father had done to her friend. She placed both hands on his chest and focused. She prayed silently that it wasn’t too late for her to take the pain away. A luminescent glow emanated from her hands and spread outward a little. Slowly, the bubbling and the burning in Beastboy’s flesh subsided. Raven healed the damage Trigon had caused.

She helped Beastboy sit up. “Are you all right?” Raven asked.

“Now I am,” he replied, and tried to rub a headache from his temple. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Beastboy stood up, patting himself down to make sure everything was okay. “I guess it’s safe to say you share his sense of humor?” he joked, smiling weakly.

Raven stood and frowned even deeper, thoroughly annoyed with him. “Of course you went and opened your big mouth. I should have known.” She dropped the shield. “Don’t be a smart aleck; he’s destroyed entire planets for a lot less.”

The warm fuzzy moment had apparently passed. Beastboy’s face hardened and he asked, “Any other branches of your family tree coming to visit, Raven? Aunts, uncles, cousins? Got a grandma around here someplace with snakes for hair?”

Her eyes began to glow and she levitated from the cement. “Trust me when I say that now really isn’t the time to make me angry.”

He snapped his mouth shut and the two of them took off to regroup with the other Titans.


	12. Chapter 12

The Titans assembled in the middle of the deserted street to face Trigon together. He was just regaining his footing after Raven had thrown him to the far end of the avenue.

“Are you two okay?” Cyborg asked. Raven and Beastboy nodded their silent yeses.

“Any ideas how to take this thing down?” Robin put the question to all his teammates, but his gaze was on Raven as he readied a birdarang in his hand.

“He is quite powerful,” Starfire pointed out.

Beastboy rubbed his arms unconsciously. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

“He’s concentrated evil is what he is,” Raven said grimly. All eyes turned to look at her. She sighed. “It’s true. I don’t know if he even has a weakness.”

Cyborg charged his sonic cannon. “So we do the trial by fire thing,” he said, his voice very grave. “Sounds like fun.”

“What if we are unable to defeat him?” Starfire asked, voicing the concern that was in everyone’s mind.

“We have to try,” Robin said. By this time Trigon was back on his feet, tearing down another storefront. “He’ll destroy the entire city.”

_If he wanted to do that, he would have done it already._ Raven thought solemnly. Aloud, she said, “He’s not interested in the city.”

“Then what exactly is it he wants?” Starfire asked.

There was silence as everyone waited for Raven’s reply, but she couldn’t answer them. She looked at the pavement, unable to meet their eyes. She was ashamed, felt a tinge of guilt for being the reason for all this havoc. For putting their lives in jeopardy, more danger than they realized, more than they had ever before encountered.

When Raven finally felt she could meet whatever looks they were giving her, she was almost surprised by what she saw. They looked determined as well as angry, but it was obvious that their indignation was not directed at her but at the monster _behind_ her.

Starfire’s eyes glowed bright green as she floated, and she readied a starbolt in each hand. “Never,” she said simply, too angry to say anything else.

“What she said,” Beastboy added, and quickly became a lion.

“Not on our watch,” Cyborg growled. “Robin, if you’d do the honors.”

“My pleasure,” Robin replied through clenched teeth. He pointed at Trigon looking briefly like a general in the fading sunlight and shouted, “Titans, go!”

Although her face didn’t show it, Raven was never more pleased flying into battle alongside her friends than at that moment.


	13. Chapter 13

Robin immediately tossed his birdarang at Trigon as a distraction and extended his staff. He leapt high in the air and called out, “Starfire, launch!”

She took hold of his leg and swung around twice before hurling him with all her strength directly at Trigon. Robin brought his staff down to connect squarely with Trigon’s skull, but the monster dodged and brought his enormous hand around as Robin sailed by overhead. He grasped the Titan leader’s body and slammed him into a nearby building just a few moments before Starfire fired her eye lasers at Trigon’s chest. She knocked him back a few steps.

Robin grunted in pain as he connected with the bricks, stayed there for a few precious moments, and then began to fall along with a few broken pieces of stone toward the pavement below.

Starfire gasped. “Robin!” she cried, and abandoned her attack to catch him before he fell all the way to the ground.

“What do I always say?” Cyborg declared as he and Beastboy came in for an attack from the ground. “Hard and low is the way to go!”

“‘Always?’” Raven inquired from just above them. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard it.”

“You just wish you thought it up first,” Cyborg shouted good-naturedly as he fired his cannon at Trigon.

Raven rolled her eyes. “You see _right_ through me,” she said wryly before she broke off for a position higher up.

Cyborg kept firing as Beastboy in lion form leapt at Trigon’s leg, claws extended and fangs bared. He bit and clawed ferociously, but it was like trying to take a piece out of an alligator hide. Beastboy was almost certain he was only annoying the brute more; he certainly wasn’t hurting him.

Trigon suddenly swung the leg that had Beastboy on it at Cyborg in a football style punt; Beastboy turned back to human form in midair as they soared down the avenue.

Raven cast a black aura around the two before they had flown too far and set them on the ground once more before turning her attention on her father. She focused, summoning the dark energies within her hands.

“Azarath metrion zinthos!” she cried, and flung a very large blackened orb at Trigon. But when it hit him, he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. As though it were more form than power. As though it had barely tickled him.

He laughed. “RAVEN, I’M INSULTED. YOU’RE HOLDING BACK; SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.” He released a beam of energy from his hands at her and she quickly created a shield in front of her to block it, but the protective black form cracked and the force of the colliding energies hurled her backward. It was all she could do to stay aloft.

But I wasn’t holding back. Raven was confused and a little concerned. Something had happened to her; something was draining her powers. They were only at half the strength that they should have been.

She looked down at herself and instantly realized what was going on; there around her neck still hung the present that Arella had given her. The charm was doing what it was designed to do: harness her energies. Inside it turned dark, swirling with her excess power, the very powers she needed to help her friends in this fight.

Raven yanked the chain from her neck. _I’m sorry,_ she thought as she threw it as far away from her as she could. _That’s more control than I want or need right now._

No sooner had the crystal left her hand than Raven felt her powers surge back to their full strength. The intense jolt was incredible… almost intoxicating. She immediately shot a line of dark energy from her hands to encompass an abandoned car, which she threw at Trigon with ease. But it was only after she had released it that she looked to see where the other Titans were in proximity to her attack, something she had never forgotten to do before. They were all more or less a safe distance from the explosion that knocked Trigon backward, though Cyborg did have to dodge falling pieces of debris and Starfire had to retreat a few feet upward to avoid the blast. Raven’s heart skipped a beat with the realization that she had used her powers without thinking of controlling them first.

_Stop it._ She ordered herself. _Don’t get careless. There’s no excuse for recklessness._

While Raven berated her impulsive actions, Starfire battled Trigon from the sky, her green eye lasers against his. It was an even match for a little while, but Trigon was more powerful than she was. The yellow rays gained strength as the green ones fell back until finally the tug of war was over and Starfire, hit dead on with the intense energy, dropped toward the ground like a rock. Beastboy morphed into a pterodactyl and rose into the air to meet her as she fell. She landed gently across his back and he brought her safely to rest on the ground with Cyborg and Robin before resuming human form.

Starfire rubbed her head. “We have attempted all manners of attack, and still he remains undamaged.”

Robin pulled a disc from his belt, a look of determination on his face. “If we can’t bring him down, maybe it would be better to just put him on ice.”

He threw the disc at Trigon. The red monster was able to give a look of annoyance before the disc froze his entire body from head to toe. He was now nothing more than an ice sculpture positioned in the middle of the street.

Raven watched from her spot up on high across the avenue as the others gave a few lively shouts at their seeming victory.

Beastboy walked over to the block of ice that held the demonic fiend and jerked his thumb in its general direction. “Anyone in the mood for a Trigon-flavored Popsicle?” he asked jokingly, a wide grin on his face.

“Hey Raven!” Cyborg called, waving her to come join them on the other side of the pavement. “Come on down! It’s over; we did it!”

Raven shook her head very slightly. _Don’t celebrate just yet… don’t underestimate what he’s capable of._

No sooner had those thoughts reached her mind then the ground began to rumble. The ice began to crack down the center and a red glow was emitted from the fissure. Steam was released as the four Titans took a few steps back. Raven began to coil dark energy together between her palms.

The ice block exploded into a dozen enormous chunks as Trigon managed to break himself free; a particularly large hunk knocked the Titans back toward a decimated building.

As soon as her father was on the loose once more, Raven gathered together every last bit of energy she could summon in a blast larger than any she had ever before attempted, layers upon layers of destructive force. With a cry of exertion, she hurled it down with all her strength toward Trigon.

But the demon saw it coming; he dodged out of the way of his daughter’s attack, leaving the Titans behind him to receive the full extent of the dark energy blast.

Raven gasped. “No!”

She tried to call it back, weak as she was, but Trigon was too fast. He threw his own energy orb at her; it hit Raven head on, throwing her back against a brick wall. She slumped to the ground, trying with all her might not to let the pain and the fatigue overtake her, trying to will herself to get up and save her friends.

She was conscious long enough to witness what she had done. The explosive force she had created not only hurled the Titans back through the wall of the building they were in front of, it completely destroyed the structural foundation. The building began to crumble, and Trigon helped it along with a few well-placed energy beams.

_Please… no…_ Raven reached out as they screamed, but her mind wouldn’t hold still. She couldn’t focus long enough to shield them, to protect them from the barrage of falling stone and steel. The destruction she herself had created.

She passed out to the sounds of anguish and hatred, the Titans’ desperate cries and Trigon’s maniacal laughter ringing in her ears.


	14. Chapter 14

Raven came around what couldn’t have been more than a few minutes later, but it was immediately apparent to her that those few minutes were long enough for the damage to be done. The sun hadn’t moved much lower beneath the horizon, but the sky was swathed in shadow. A thick cloud of dust and dirt hung in the air and the building that had held her friends was a ruined pile of rubble in front of her. Raven lifted her head and gazed despondently at the mound of broken stone and twisted metal. She was too late. The Titans were nowhere to be seen.

Raven pushed herself to her feet with much effort, coughing on the grit suspended all around her, holding her side in pain. She stumbled toward the debris, slowly making her way forward, the only thing moving in the deathlike stillness that surrounded her.

_Please, no…_  “Robin! Cyborg!” she called, still choking on the smog and dust, her voice echoing ever so slightly in the gloom. _Please don’t let it be true… please…_ “Starfire! Beastboy! Please answer me!”

At that moment she would have given _anything_ to hear their voices. To hear Starfire butcher the English language with a few choice Tamaranian words, to hear Cyborg’s ‘booyah’ or Robin’s commands… she even would have settled for one of Beastboy’s bad jokes. But only a tomb-like silence filled her ears.

She tried to contact them on her communicator, but each channel had only static to offer her. She cried out pathetically for her friends, but only the echoes answered back. Raven was just in front of the demolished building now. More weight she was certain than either Cyborg or Starfire could lift. More pressure than any of them could survive. She felt numb right down to her core. _My fault… all my fault…_

Raven dropped to her knees beside the miniature mountain and began to move random pieces of stone aside with her bare hands. She didn’t want to use her powers anymore; she was almost afraid of them now—look at what they had done. She dug and budged the mangled metal and broken rocks until her hands bled, ignoring the pain.

Raven knew that it was futile and realized that her actions were quite possibly a manifestation of mounting madness, but she couldn’t stop. She was afraid to stop, afraid that if she stopped long enough to think that she would lose that numbness inside that was holding her together. Afraid that if she acknowledged that they were gone—that she was alone—she would promptly fall apart.

“You should have listened to me, Raven.”

Raven snapped her head up to see Trigon, less monstrous than he was before but still a formidable figure, sitting atop the broken building, sneering at her. “We could have avoided all this nonsense if you had just accepted the inevitable.” 

She had forgotten what had led to this disaster in the first place until she heard his voice again, shaking up her insides like the stereo system in Cyborg’s car. Raven clenched her teeth. The numbness cracked up with each word he spoke, releasing something burning deep within her. She could feel it intensifying… and she had no desire to stem its growth.

He stood up as he continued. “Of course, it’s probably just as well I had the opportunity to rid you of those children. They made you soft… weak.”

“ _WEAK?_ ” Raven’s eyes split to become four red glowing eyes as she rose up, growing impossibly tall—tall enough to loom over Trigon—blackened flames emanating from her gigantic figure. Her voice almost came from beyond her, from the deepest and darkest depths of her being. “ _They made me feel wanted! They gave me purpose! I had a home and a life with them! And now because of you they’re dead!_ ”

Raven felt her control slip as her powers leeched off her emotions, and she didn’t care. She let the energy flow right through her; she didn’t want to hold back. She had no reason now to suppress the destructive forces that came from within her; she wanted to let them go, let them do whatever it was that they wanted to do. Raven felt the anger and the hatred burning with a craving for revenge, and she let herself embrace those emotions. If there was ever a time to lose control, now was that time. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to feel exactly what she was feeling, and to act according to those emotions. The rage just felt so justified, too perfectly right to contain.

The rocks around Trigon glowed with dark energy, lifted up, and were tossed around in violent randomness as she bore down on him. He grew to match her height as he blocked them all with relative ease. Raven created a variety of forms to attack him with—blades and tentacles and spikes—and lifted enormous pieces of debris, but Trigon was able to block or avoid each attack, smiling viciously as he did. That smile filled Raven with even more anger.

“I’M NOT THE ONE WHO CAUSED THEIR DOWNFALL, RAVEN,” he said nastily as he dodged another barrage of soaring black projectiles and jumped over an uprooted lamppost. “YOU ARE.” He spoke calmly and coldly, provoking her.

“ _I would have stopped it and you made sure I couldn’t save them! You tricked me! You used me!_ ” A car-sized boulder shattered into dust, burst from within by a sudden surge of dark energy.

“I HELPED YOU REALIZE YOUR FULL POTENTIAL,” Trigon goaded, retreating a few steps to avoid the shrapnel from Raven’s mini-tantrum. “THEY WERE HOLDING YOU BACK, RAVEN. YOU COULD NEVER ACHIEVE YOUR TRUE POWER WITH THOSE CHILDREN STUNTING YOUR GROWTH, MAKING YOU PATHETIC AND WEAK.”

A steel beam curled up like a pretzel and flew through the air. “ _Controlling_ your _evil doesn’t make me weak! It’s my decision how to use my powers! They are not yours to command!_ ”

“YOU ARE _MINE_. YOU BELONG TO ME, WHETHER YOU ADMIT IT OR NOT. THAT MEANS THEY ARE.” Trigon sneered. “IT’S FUTILE TO DENY YOUR DESTINY, RAVEN. TOGETHER WE _WILL_ RULE. I AM GIVING YOU THE ENTIRE WORLD FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.” He grinned a wicked, devious grin. “YOU SHOULD THANK ME.”

“ _THANK YOU?!_ ” Raven’s powers shattered every window that wasn’t already broken, sending glass shards flying in all directions. “ _I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!_ ”

And at last Trigon had the opening he was looking for.

Laughing evilly, he converted himself to a form of pure energy. Before Raven realized what was happening, the reddened electrical charge the demon had become flew directly at her. It entered her body through her heart, and she knew immediately that there would be no escape for her now that she had practically invited him access to her hatred and fury.

Raven screamed as Trigon entered and took control of her body; she shrank back down to a more normal size as her cloak became a dark blood red. Her teeth grew sharp like his; her nails became claw-like in appearance.

All at once Raven stopped screaming. She looked down at herself and smiled the same terrifying smile of her father. With a wave of her hand a small corner store toppled over and broke apart. She laughed in amusement.

“ _This is going to be so much fun._ ” Her voice was demonic in nature, a possessed and twisted version of her normal speech. She laughed again and disappeared in a swirling black vortex.

Night fell over the city, but not before Raven had succumbed to her own inner darkness. The last ray of sunlight left the earth with the coming of the daughter of Trigon the Terrible.


	15. Chapter 15

Arella walked slowly down the empty, battle-scarred street. Broken glass crunched and crackled underfoot as she surveyed the devastation. Overhead the last functioning streetlight flickered on, blinking an uncertain Morse code in the surrounding darkness. Arella walked toward the Titans’ final resting place, unable to come to grips with what she had just witnessed. Raven had turned; her friends were dead. There was no way to stop Trigon now that he had possession of his daughter. All hope was lost.

Something snagged Arella’s shoe and clinked merrily on the glass shards, a cheerful sound so out of place in the solemn stillness. She looked down to see a silver chain caught around the tip of her shoe. She bent down and picked up Raven’s birthday present, black energy swirling within the crystal, the chain latch broken. Arella grasped it tightly in her hand close to her heart.

_Oh, Raven… what am I going to do now?_

Even as she thought those words, she felt the ground rumble. The shattered glass danced in the street like crickets as Arella fought to keep her balance. The minor tremor stopped and a few yards in front of her a green beam shot up out of the street. It moved around in a circle, cutting a hole in the pavement and when it had completed its motion the round piece of asphalt rose up, lifting toward the night sky.

Starfire floated out of the hole she had created and with a grunt tossed the piece of road aside. She looked around for a brief moment before diving back into the hole. She reemerged carrying Cyborg and Robin by either hand. A green bird flew out of the hole after them. Starfire placed the boys back on their feet as Beastboy landed and resumed his human form.

“Okay… that? Yeah, not fun,” Beastboy said, brushing dirt from his clothes. “Let’s not do that again any time soon.”

“Cyborg, Starfire… give us a little more light,” Robin said, ignoring Beastboy’s comment completely. Cyborg brought his spotlight up from his shoulder and Starfire held a green glow in her hand.

Cyborg picked up a steel beam that had been bent into a sort of pretzel shape. “Don’t know what went down here while we were gone,” he said, turning it over in his hands, “but I’m willing to bet it wasn’t pretty.”

“I do not see Raven,” Starfire added, holding her light out and floating here and there. She caught sight of a dumbfounded figure standing by a flickering streetlight. “Arella!” Starfire cried happily and immediately flew over to where Raven’s mother stood, completely astounded at what she had just seen.

“I don’t believe it,” Arella murmured as the other Titans ran over. She looked at the tons of rock and metal that should have been their grave. “How is it even remotely possible you were able to survive?”

“That?” Cyborg said, smirking. “We’ve been in tighter scrapes than that, lemme tell ya.”

“Yeah!” Beastboy chimed in. “Buildings, like, ten times that high…”

“There was a parking garage below it,” Robin said simply, expertly killing their bragging. “Couldn’t go up, so we went down instead. Tunneled out once it was stable.”

Beastboy groaned. “You take all the fun out of heroic boasting, you know that?”

Starfire put a hand on Arella’s shoulder so she could get her attention. “Arella, can you tell us what has happened to Raven?”

“She…” Arella’s voice broke. “She thought she killed all of you. She… lost control of her powers.”

“And Daddy-not-so-dearest?” Beastboy asked, frowning.

Arella dropped her gaze. “I’m afraid Trigon has taken Raven… he’s controlling her now through her own hatred and darkness. I don’t know how to get her back… or defeat him.”

Starfire held a hand to her mouth, muffling a little gasp. It was hard to tell if anger or sadness would win over her facial expressions. The boys were in varying states of solemnity; Beastboy had nothing funny to say.

“Cyborg,” Robin said, slipping into leader mode. “Try and trace Raven’s locator signal.”

Cyborg nodded and pressed a few buttons on his arm. “It might take me a while, though. Busted some of my circuits on the way down back there.”

“Just do what you can.” Robin turned to Arella. “We need to understand what we’re dealing with here. Can you fill in the gaps?”

Arella was silent for a moment before she could reply. “I’ll answer what I can, but there are some things I just can’t tell you.”

“Sounds like a standard family answer,” Beastboy muttered, and pretended not to notice the nasty looks Cyborg and Robin were giving him. “Dude, you know what I want to know? I want to know why you and that _thing_ …”

“Stop.” Arella’s voice was unusually forceful. “That’s one question I _won’t_ answer, is irrelevant, and furthermore is none of your business.”

“Congratulations, B,” Cyborg said, irritated. “Your speaking privileges are hereby officially revoked. One more word and you’re gonna be in a world of hurt. That’s a promise. Clam up, and I mean _now_.”

Beastboy became the little green crustacean and plopped down on the street.

“You’ll forgive me, I’m sure,” Arella said, her voice losing its hard edge. “I just can’t discuss it… certainly not with you.”

No one pressed the issue any further. Robin swiftly changed the subject. “Raven said he was concentrated evil. What did she mean?”

“Just that,” Arella answered. “Raven was born in a dimension of pacifists, but to achieve their goal of peace they had to purge themselves of their own evil natures. The evil essences of their souls merged to create Trigon. That, in a nutshell, is what he is.”

“And what does he want with Raven?” Starfire inquired.

“She is his child,” Arella admitted gravely. “In his mind that means she belongs to him. And unless you can find a way to drive him out of her body, she will remain his possession.” She became even more solemn. “Trigon will break her spirit. I know that the good Raven is trapped somewhere inside her own mind; if she isn’t able to break free of his control soon, that goodness will be beaten right out of her. That is his goal.”

Beastboy became human again, unable to keep quiet. “So, wait…”

“WHAT DID I JUST SAY TEN SECONDS AGO?” Cyborg exploded.

“I’m on to something though!” He held up his hands in a ‘Scout’s honor’ sign. “And I swear it has nothing to do with gerbil commandos.”

Cyborg and Robin exchanged looks. “You have twenty seconds,” Robin told him.

Beastboy spoke to Arella clearly and quickly. “In layman’s terms, Raven’s being possessed by Trigon, right?”

“Yes.”

“But she’s still in there somewhere.”

“I think so, yes.”

“And if there was some way we could find her, would it be possible to force him out from the inside?”

Arella thought about it for a moment. “I’m going to say it’s a distinct possibility. But there’s no way for you to get into her mind to do that.”

Beastboy grinned triumphantly and turned to Cyborg. “Dude, all we have to do is find Raven’s mirror and go get her. She does her happy magicky whatever thing, Trigon gets out…”

“And then we’re right back where we started,” Cyborg finished.

“Well, yeah,” Beastboy admitted. “But at least we’ll be fighting him instead of fighting her being controlled by him.”

“It’s as good a plan as we’ve got,” Robin said just as Cyborg’s computer system beeped.

He looked at his arm. “Well, that’s convenient.”

“You have located Raven?” Starfire asked hopefully.

“Yup.” He closed the cover of his system. “She’s back at the Tower.”

“Let’s go team,” Robin said, and he and Cyborg grasped Starfire’s hands as she lifted off the ground. “There’s no time to waste.”

“Be careful,” Arella said to them. “He’ll use your friendships against you. Don’t underestimate him.”

“You’re not coming?” Beastboy asked, staying behind for a moment as the others flew off.

Arella averted her eyes. “I have no powers… I’m too weak. I’ll only be in your way.”

“Dude, Robin doesn’t have any powers either but that never stops him from kicking butt.” He met her gaze. “Don’t let anyone tell you you’re weak, especially not Ol’ Four Eyes. You’re her mom; you don’t need powers. That _is_ a power.”

“Thank you… I can’t.” Arella looked away again. “You best catch up to your friends.”

Beastboy backed off, became an owl, and took to the air to follow after the other Titans. Arella stood beneath the flickering lamppost light, staring after their retreating figures. She looked at the stone she still held in her hands, turning the little changeling’s words over and over in her mind, replaying all the events of the day back again. Was it really still the same day? It seemed like ages ago that she arrived back on Earth, her conversation with Raven…

Arella stopped her thoughts dead in their tracks as a sudden and powerful idea came to her, more a bolt of lightning than a light bulb.

_Could that really work?_ She wondered silently to herself. _Maybe… yes. Yes, it could. But only if I’m not too late._ She looked up again at the sky. _Dear child… I hope you are right about me._

With newfound courage and determination she never knew she possessed, Arella set out toward Titans Tower as well.


	16. Chapter 16

The Titans landed down by the shoreline once they’d reached their home to formulate a plan before they went inside the Tower to confront Raven. Or Trigon… or whoever it was now.

“The cave-in put all of our communicators out of commission,” Robin began.

“Except mine,” Cyborg chimed in. “I managed to get my systems back into order.”

“Regardless,” Robin continued, “it doesn’t do much good if the rest of us don’t have ours. There’s no way to keep in contact with you. So we need to lay out a plan now before we head in.”

“I thought we already _had_ a plan,” Beastboy pointed out.

“Yeah, but I’m still not quite clear on a few things,” Robin said. “This mirror you mentioned… it’s—what?—some sort of gateway into Raven’s mind?”

“More or less,” Cyborg said frankly.

“Then you two have done this before?”

“That’s a big ten-four there, good buddy,” Beastboy quipped, mimicking a trucker accent. Robin shot him a ‘don’t mess around’ look and he slipped into hiding behind Cyborg.

“Okay, here’s what we do,” Robin said decisively. “We split up into two groups: Starfire and I will be the distraction; we’ll keep Raven busy while you two go find the mirror and do your thing. I guess locate Raven’s good self and try to force Trigon out from inside.” Beastboy raised his hand like he was a student in school and Robin gave an aggravated sigh. “Yes, Beastboy?”

“Can I switch with somebody? I don’t wanna go back in Raven’s head; it’s creepy in there.”

“No.” Before Beastboy could object, Robin went on. “For one thing, Starfire is the only one among us who is strong enough to take on Raven head to head, aside from Cyborg. The other thing is you two are the ones with experience; I would have no idea what I was doing, and neither would Starfire. You know what to expect, and I guess know your way around.”

“Don’t be a wimp, B,” Cyborg added. When Beastboy turned to give him a dirty look, Cyborg’s face was undeniably earnest and he said, “You can’t back out on her, man. That thing was gonna kill you and she saved your life. Return the favor.”

Beastboy looked at the ground and scratched his head, somewhat abashed. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”

Starfire raised her hand tentatively. “I also have a question to ask.” Everyone turned his attention to her. “If you are going to be inside Raven’s mind—which is also where the evil Trigon is—should we not assume that she will know that you are there, and by association he will as well?”

“Not if you can keep her occupied until we can make our move,” Cyborg said.

Starfire nodded and asked very solemnly, almost as if putting the question into words would curse their mission, “What if we are discovered and the mirror is broken before then?”

There was silence as her query sunk in. Presently, Cyborg broke the quiet. “Then I guess me and BB will just have to get used to the surroundings,” he said somberly.

“We don’t have a choice,” Robin said, his voice grave. “We have to get her back somehow, and this is the only plan we’ve got.” He pointed to Cyborg and Beastboy. “Stay out of sight. Whatever you do when you get in there, don’t let her see you until you can get to that mirror. We have the element of surprise if she thinks we’re dead, so we better use that to our advantage for as long as possible. Starfire and I can keep her running for as long as it takes you guys to accomplish your mission. And we’ll try and keep the mirror protected if things get bad.”

“Then that’s all we can do,” Cyborg said.

“We’ll go in and get to the computer console to open one of the room windows… better you two get straight to Raven’s room from the outside than risk being seen.”

“I’ll second that,” Beastboy said, and became a pterodactyl.

“We’ll try to keep the diversion away from the rooms, but I can’t promise you anything. Raven does have a way of getting around, after all.”

“Don’t we know it,” Cyborg agreed.

“Be fast,” Robin urged them. “The longer you guys are in there, the more chance there is you’ll be found out. Everyone understand their assignment?” The Titans nodded grimly. “Are we ready to do this?”

They each gave some sort of affirmative motion, though no one was really feeling very optimistic or enthusiastic about what they had to do. They were going against a friend, a fellow Titan. They were trying to save her, true, but in the back of their minds each knew that the greater good had to come first. When it came down to it, if they couldn’t get her back, there was only one alternative. Each knew if they couldn’t release Trigon’s hold on Raven, they would have to destroy her.

And what worried them was if that happened—if they were faced with the decision to sacrifice their friend for the good of the world—they would be unable to carry out that task.


	17. Chapter 17

Beastboy and Cyborg flew off to hover around the room windows so they could slip in quickly and avoid being seen. Starfire and Robin snuck quietly along the side of the Tower and found the front door was wide open, literally torn from its frame. The steel entrance lay in a mangled heap on the ground.

They peeked in the foyer and, once they were satisfied it was empty, they went inside. Their footsteps echoed in the bleak and dismal darkness beyond the green glow Starfire held to light their way. They surveyed the surroundings with heavy hearts.

The lobby had been trashed; deep gouges had been sliced in the walls, jagged scribbles running all up and down, completely random destruction. Wires hung from the slashes like entrails. The chairs had been tossed around and gutted, the stuffing strewn about all over the hall.

“I do not understand,” Starfire whispered as Robin opened a computer console in the wall and entered the security codes. “What point is there in destroying our home if we are presumed dead?”

“This is Raven’s home, too,” Robin said quietly, and used the computer systems to open the window in her room for Cyborg and Beastboy. “If Trigon’s trying to break her spirit, this is the way to do it. Already today she’s lost all her friends, control of her powers, and control of herself. If he’s making her destroy the last thing that gives Raven any sense of security—her home—he’s that much closer to his goal.”

Starfire’s eyes glowed bright green as her face became undeniably angry. She was so outraged at the thought of her friend being treated so shamefully that she was unable to express her emotions in English; a stream of infuriated but quiet Tamaranian sentences spewed from her mouth, and though Robin couldn’t quite understand the words, the general idea of what she was saying was more than clear to him.

All at once she stopped. “Forgive me,” she whispered, and blushed fiercely. “I have never used such vulgar language.”

Robin gave a very small smile. “Whatever you said, I’m sure it was accurate.”

A loud boom came from upstairs, accompanied by the sound of breaking glass and general mayhem. The Tower shook, trembling as large objects were hurled haphazardly around. There was a particularly loud smashing noise supplemented with a brief power surge before darkness set in once again.

“Well,” Robin said evenly. “That’s the end of the television.” He took Starfire’s hand and started up the stairs. “Come on… we better make with the distracting before Cyborg and Beastboy find that mirror.”

They followed a trail of destruction straight to the living room, where a possessed and unjustifiably angry Raven was busy crashing her own party. The doors had been ripped from the frame and almost crumpled up, as though they were sheets of discarded paper. Robin and Starfire stood pressed against the wall in the shadows just in front of the gaping hole, watching as black beams shot out chaotically. The big screen television had been pulled forward and lay fallen screen down on the ground; the sofa had been practically dismembered, sections in all corners of the room. The air crackled with dark energy as a figure cloaked in red summoned the devastating forces, cackling at each display of power. Her back was to them.

Robin readied a few flash explosives in his hands as he breathlessly spoke to Starfire. “Remember, Star… that’s not Raven. It may sound like her and look like her, but it’s not her. Don’t hesitate, and don’t hold back… because I have a feeling she won’t.”

Starfire had no chance to respond. The red-cloaked Raven, feeling their presence, whirled to face them, four crimson eyes blazing.

“ _Who’s there?_ ” she demanded in the demonic, angry voice, and didn’t wait for a response before she shot a dark energy ball into the shadows where the two Titans were hiding.

Starfire reacted immediately and countered it with a green starbolt, canceling out the attack a few feet away. The two Titans stepped forward out of the shadows into the sliver of moonlight that passed just in front of the door.

“We don’t take kindly to party crashers,” Robin said, a deep and determined frown on his face. “Get out, or get _thrown_ out. Your choice.”

For a brief instant an expression almost akin to surprise flitted across Raven’s face, but it was gone again just as quickly, replaced by a wide and frightening grin.

“ _Still alive?_ ” she said spitefully, and lifted off the ground. “ _Ah, but only the two of you… I take it the Tin Man and Toto couldn’t survive the house I dropped on you?_ ” She laughed maliciously at her own joke. “ _I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised to see you, but in a way I’m glad. I was just thinking that this party needed a piñata, and now…_ ” She cast a black aura around a broken table leg. “ _…I’ve got two._ ”

The club suddenly shot straight at Robin’s head, but Starfire was already in the air and blasted it into toothpicks before it ever got anywhere near its intended destination. Then the battle officially began.

Robin threw a flash bomb at the evil Raven’s feet and ducked behind an overturned tabletop, which Raven telekinetically threw over on top of him as the explosive went off. The intense light blinded Raven as she shielded her eyes too late. When the darkness resumed once again, she was unable to see. Unable to gauge her position in the air, she sank toward the ground once again.

Despite what Robin had told her, Starfire was still hesitant to attack her friend. She did not take the opportunity to strike like she probably should have. She was sure that if the good Raven could hear her and know that her friends were still alive it might give her the strength to help them drive out the demon.

Starfire let her starbolt fade. “Raven… friend… Robin and I wish to help you.” She descended a little lower toward Raven, who knelt blinking blindly on the floor.

The four glowing red eyes turned sightlessly toward her voice. “ _Starfire?_ ” Raven’s voice almost quivered, and Starfire was heartened. She must be getting through.

She landed on the floor and reached out her hand toward her friend. “Do not let your father control you, Raven. I know you do not wish to fight us.”

Starfire’s hand was on her shoulder now. Raven blinked sight back into her eyes at the moment Starfire’s hand touched her shoulder, and when again she could see, she looked up at the Tamaranian girl and smiled a very cruel smile.

“ _Wanna bet?_ ” Raven grabbed a startled Starfire’s arm and threw her into the nearest wall. “ _Could you possibly_ get _any more naïve?_ ” She walked purposefully to where Starfire lay slumped on the ground and picked her head up by her hair. “ _He set me free, gives me strength… but he and I are two different beings, little alien. And while I fight you, he fights beside me… and every so often, bit-by-bit, we break down that stupid weak little goody-goody…_ ”

Starfire’s eyes glowed bright green; now that she was certain this was not her friend, she had no desire to hold back. She fired her eye lasers directly in Raven’s face, and the possessed Titan flew across the room.

Starfire flew to where Robin was still trapped, lifted the heavy object off him, and helped him to his feet. Raven, meanwhile, had regained her composure and was floating above them.

“ _That struck a nerve, didn’t it?_ ” she said nastily, and grinned a vicious grin again. “ _It’s getting easier and easier… she’s so lost without friends. It’s absolutely pathetic._ ” The evil Raven lifted the still wrapped presents from the table and encased them in a black aura. They erupted in black flames. “ _This takes almost no effort, and yet… yes… absolutely killing her inside._ ”

Starfire, crying out in rage, hurled a very large starbolt at her, but Raven caught it in a field of dark energy and smothered it with a flick of her hand.

“ _Make no mistake about it… the fact that you two are still alive doesn’t stop the inevitable. The death you escaped was far more merciful than the one I will grant you._ ” Dark energy swirled around her ominously. “ _By the time this night is over, you’ll wish you had stayed where I buried you._ ”

Robin and Starfire readied their weapons of choice as Raven amassed more and more power, each praying that Cyborg and Beastboy were having better luck than they were.


	18. Chapter 18

Just when Beastboy thought he couldn’t possibly stay aloft another moment more carrying his half-robot companion, the window to Raven’s room slid open. The two Titans spilled gracelessly through the opening as Beastboy’s last ounce of available strength gave way.

“That’s real good, B,” Cyborg scoffed as he picked himself up off the floor. “Let’s just announce where we are over the intercom while we’re at it.”

Beastboy turned back to human form, rubbing his sore arms. “Dude, let’s see _you_ hover in one place carrying a half-metal man. You have no _idea_ how hard it is to do that with wings that are meant for gliding, not flapping.” He moved his shoulders around in circles. “Man, I’m gonna feel that in the morning.”

Cyborg rolled his eye and started toward the door. “Quit bellyachin’. We’ve got a job to do.”

Beastboy gave Cyborg a sideways glance. “That’s a big no duh, Captain Obvious.”

Cyborg ignored him and opened the door a crack. There was a lot of noise coming in the direction of the living room. There was a loud crash and a power surge and presently the very distinct sounds of Robin and Starfire’s combat techniques could be heard. He shut the door.

“Robin and Star are in position,” he said, and brought his flashlight up from his shoulder. He took a long hard look at Raven’s room. The mirror was gone from her dresser, probably hidden to prevent precisely what they needed to do to save her. The fate of their mission rested on finding it, and Cyborg for one had no idea where to start looking.

Beastboy was already snooping through Raven’s things, now that he had a good excuse to. He started with the night table, but there was nothing of interest in the drawer except some parchment, quills, and ink.

“Who would Raven write letters to?” he wondered aloud.

“I hope you’ll at least let her keep that secret to herself,” Cyborg answered, rifling through Raven’s bookshelf.

Beastboy closed the drawer and noticed something that made him feel a little weird inside. An unfinished cup of tea sat in front of a clock that read 8:42. It was so strange to think just that morning they’d spoken right where he was standing now. What little fun there was to be had in this golden opportunity to poke through Raven’s belongings was gone. She wasn’t there to catch him or yell at him; it just didn’t feel right. He would have traded each and every one of his videogames to hear her tell him to get out of her room just one more time.

“Pick up the pace, man,” Cyborg said, snapping Beastboy out of his thoughts. “Time is something we don’t have a lot of right now, so don’t waste it staring into space.”

Beastboy became a snake and slithered under the bed, which was completely empty and even dust-bunny free. He resumed his normal human form once he’d made it to the other side and reluctantly started pulling drawers open in Raven’s dresser.

Cyborg had already checked the entire bookshelf and a closet full of magic supplies; still he’d come up empty handed. He was beginning to get frustrated; this was supposed to be the easy part, and it was taking far too long. _Man, Rae… where’d you put it?_

He idly opened the big wooden trunk and found it contained only one book… _the_ book. Cyborg immediately slammed the lid back down and muttered, “Definitely not in there.” He sighed and sat on the chest, watching his partner in crime rummage though the last dresser drawer. Beastboy held up a pair of worn denim pants.

“Dude,” he said, and turned them over in his hands. “I didn’t know Raven owned jeans.”

Cyborg barely heard him. The way things were looking they could turn her entire room upside down and still not find that mirror. Where could she have possibly hidden it?

“I can’t believe we haven’t found it yet,” he said aloud, visibly aggravated.

“I can.” Beastboy came and sat beside him as they stared at their reflections in the big normal mirror over the dresser. “We’re going about this all wrong. Raven hides stuff as a way of life… there’s just gotta be some logical way to figure out how she does it.”

Cyborg raised an eyebrow at him. “Since when do you think logically?”

“I don’t… you do.”

“Funny.” Cyborg sighed and got up. “Where do you hide something you don’t want other people to find? It’s not in plain sight…”

“How would you know?”

“My sensors indicate that the only surface reflecting light in here is that mirror right there,” Cyborg answered. “Where else would you hide something? Some place no one would think to look or…”

“Somewhere only she could get to,” Beastboy finished, and his face lit up. “Dude, can you scan the walls and the ceiling? Like, just under the surface.”

Cyborg adjusted his ocular implant for the desired scan and made a sweep of the ceiling and the floor, again coming up with zilch. There was nothing there but cross beams. But as he scanned beneath the side of the room, something out-of-place caught his eye. There, behind a small shelf built directly into the wall, was Raven’s mirror.

Cyborg gave Beastboy a sideways glance before heading toward the shelf.

Beastboy pumped the air triumphantly with his fist. “Dude, I was right! Duh! Only Raven can get through the walls and junk without wrecking stuff.”

A little metal saw popped out from one of Cyborg’s fingers as he threw the books that were on the shelf to the ground. He carefully sawed through the back of the shelf and reached in to pull out the portal to Raven’s mind.

“Perfect place for her to hide her mirror from _you_ ,” he said somewhat playfully.

Beastboy stopped his dancing and scowled. “A little credit here, Cy. I’m the one who figured it out.”

Cyborg gave him a quizzical look. “Speaking of which… did you just randomly decide to turn your brain on today or something?”

Beastboy shrugged and smiled slightly. “Dude, it’s Raven’s birthday…  if there was ever a time for my head to be working, I think this is it.”


	19. Chapter 19

Now that Cyborg and Beastboy had Raven’s mirror in their possession, they had a new problem to solve: how did it work?

“Where’s the ON-button?” Beastboy turned the mirror over, scratching his head in uncertainty.

“What did you do last time?” Cyborg asked, looking into it expectantly, but only his own reflection stared back at him.

“Dude, I didn’t do _anything_ last time… the thing just grabbed me.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s alive.”

“Maybe you need to pop another zit in it,” Cyborg said, and started poking Beastboy’s face. “I think I see one right there…”

“Dude, Cyborg, knock it off!” Beastboy flailed at his jabbing and backed away toward Raven’s bed, the mirror gripped in his hand. “I’m being totally serious here. How are we going to go and get Raven if we can’t figure out how this stupid thing works?” He tapped the surface of the mirror pointedly. “I mean… what are we supposed to do? ‘Azarath metrion zinthos’ our way i…?”

He didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence. The next tap on the mirror’s face drew Beastboy’s entire hand into it, and the rest of his arm was slowly following. He yelped in shock and surprise, trying to yank his hand out again but the mirror’s force was too strong.

It all happened so fast that Cyborg almost missed it. When he realized what was going on he was so afraid he would miss the trip in through the portal that he outright tackled Beastboy out of reckless trepidation. It was a good thing he did, too; the two Titans were still in midair when they were sucked completely through the spinning vortex into Raven’s mind. The little mirror dropped harmlessly to rest on Raven’s bed, belching out a little puff of smoke as the two travelers disappeared entirely within its reflective surface.

*** 

They spun around and around down through the churning cyclone that had drawn them out of Raven’s room and into her mind, screaming a bit as they swirled through the air; the fact that they had done this before didn’t make the experience any less creepy or frightening. It also didn’t make their landing on the floating rock platform any less painful.

“Ow.” Beastboy rolled over and attempted to untwist himself from the pile he and Cyborg had become.

Cyborg groaned. “Well… at least now we know your babbling is good for something.”

Beastboy rolled his eyes. “Get off my arm.”

“Sorry, man.” Cyborg sat up and rubbed his head. He looked around at the dark, desolate surroundings and noted that the atmosphere was noticeably redder than last time. An enormous flock of angry, red-eyed black birds circled endlessly above them in a bloodied sky.

“Looks like Trigon’s made himself right at home,” Beastboy commented somewhat darkly as he got to his feet and looked about.

“An interior decorator he’s not,” Cyborg added, frowning. He got up just as the rocks around theirs shifted to create a path toward stone arches in the distance. A distinct feeling of déjà vu hit him as he watched, and he charged his sonic cannon preemptively. “Let’s get going so we can fire him.”

“I’d prefer we fire _at_ him,” Beastboy replied, and they started walking along the assembled rock path.

The two Titans were quiet as they walked; if their past experience in this realm was any indication, the less interaction they had with their surroundings, the better. They were uncertain about the birds; last time they were pecking and hostile pests, but now it was almost as if they owned this place. Both Beastboy and Cyborg entertained the belief that they were sentries and spies for Raven’s demonic father, and if there was one thing they wanted to avoid it was tipping Trigon off as to what they were trying to do.

But they were everywhere, watching them: in the sky, perched in trees, above the stone arches… if Trigon didn’t already know they were there, he would soon, if not eventually. They picked up the pace; the first arch was just ahead of them.

“Uh… Cy?” Beastboy tapped Cyborg’s arm as a few of the black birds fluttered down to the ground just beside where they were.

“Don’t look at them, man,” Cyborg said through clenched teeth, and held his cannon ready as more flapped down around them. “Just keep walking… we just have to get through that archway.”

They were practically there now; just a few more yards and they’d pass into Raven’s happy place, and hopefully the evil winged minions wouldn’t follow them, just as they hadn’t last time.

The red-eyed birds flocked beside and behind them; now there was nowhere for them to go _except_ forward. The stone arch was only a few steps away.

“Can we please run now?” Beastboy practically begged, trying hard to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

“Just. Keep. Walking,” Cyborg said in a tense whisper, and charged his cannon just in case. “If we run, we might spook ‘em. Almost there.”

Three more steps… two… one…

They passed beneath the archway… and nothing happened. No shimmer, no scenery change, no pink fields… just a stone path leading onward to nowhere, and a flock of angry birds ready to attack behind them.

Beastboy let out an anxious breath, which he’d unconsciously been holding as they passed beneath the archway. “Could Raven’s head get anymore confusing? Seriously… why can’t anything ever be easy?”

He and Cyborg turned around to face the army of angry ravens that had assembled on the path they had just come from. The birds didn’t move; they just stood there ominously, waiting for something. Perhaps an order or a sudden movement from the two intruders.

Suddenly, something tapped their shoulders from behind, and they both yelped in surprise. Cyborg’s cannon fired accidentally; the army of angry birds squawked and cawed loudly, beginning to rise into the air for an attack.

The Titans turned to see what had startled them only to come face to face with the pink-cloaked embodiment of Raven’s Happiness.

She grinned and waved enthusiastically at them, even though they were standing about two feet away from her. “Hey guys! What’s going on? Anything fun?”

“We’re about to meet the same end as the extras in a Hitchcock movie,” Beastboy said tensely, pointing at the growing black cloud of birds in the sky. “Does that sound like _fun_ to you?” Happiness giggled in amusement at his words.

Cyborg put his cannon away and stooped down as he urgently grasped her shoulders. He looked right into her eyes and said, “Can you just get us out of here? Please?”

“Of course!” she replied brightly. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere but here. _Now_.”

“’Kay! Right this way.” She took their hands and started pulling them backwards toward the archway and the army of angry birds that was still advancing.

Beastboy started to resist a little. “Dude! We just came from there!”

“I don’t think so…” Happiness laughed and kept pulling them toward the arch. “Sometimes you gotta go back to go forward.”

Beastboy cringed as they started to pass beneath it. “We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna…” The air around them shimmered; the mass of evil birds disappeared and their raucous cawing faded away. “…not die? Man, this place is worse than an M.C. Hammer painting!”

“Escher,” Cyborg corrected him. “Not Hammer.”

“Whatever! I don’t care what the…” Beastboy cut his next sentence short as the scenery changed abruptly… although not necessarily for the better.

***

The pink-cloaked girl had brought them to what they were certain must have once been the cheerful rose-colored fields and cotton candy topped forests of Raven’s happy place, but it didn’t look like that now. Beastboy and Cyborg stood with their jaws dropped in shock and horror at what lay before them. It was hard to decide whether or not this place was better than where they had come from.

The area had been burned down; at least, it looked as if everything had been set aflame. Gray ash and cinders covered the ground, with just the tiniest bit of pink showing here and there as evidence of what once had been. The trees stood blackened and bare, the tips of their branches still glowing with hot embers. Ashes fell like melancholy snowflakes around them. There was complete silence and the air felt still and lifeless.

Cyborg was the first to speak, although not quite ready to formulate intelligent sentences. “Whoa…”

“Dude…” Beastboy walked out and let his eyes take in every detail. “He torched Raven’s happy place…”

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Happiness put her arms out and twirled around a few times, smiling gaily. “Not so noisy here.”

Cyborg and Beastboy stared at her like she had five heads.

“Better?!” Beastboy yelled, and motioned toward the bleak and dismal surroundings with his hands. “Your home got turned into an ashtray!”

She looked around as if just noticing that. She shrugged, still smiling. “So? I’m still here.” She went over and poked Beastboy’s nose. “Don’t worry about it, BB. There’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”

Happiness took off at a run and cart-wheeled down the path a few times until she fell over, all the time giggling and laughing right out loud.

“She’s nuts,” Beastboy stated firmly.

“I don’t think so,” Cyborg said, and they started to walk down the path to where the pink-cloaked girl was busy blowing ash up into the air from the palm of her hand. “This may have been Raven’s happy place, but _that’s_ her Happiness. The manifestation of Joy, Optimism, and probably Hope, too. So long as she’s not gone, this can be rebuilt. As long as Trigon hasn’t destroyed her, there’s still a chance we really _can_ save Raven.”

“If we can find her,” Beastboy added somewhat dejectedly under his breath as they came to where Happiness was sitting.

She looked up at them. “So, what are you guys doing tonight?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky,” Beastboy said, and gave her a very weak smile.

She cracked up and fell back onto the path, holding her sides and laughing uncontrollably. “That was so fantastic!” she cried through fits of giggling, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Listen,” Cyborg began, trying to get her to focus and stop giggling quite so much. “We’re looking for… um… well, you. At least, she looks like you, except she’s wearing a blue cloak… do you know who I’m talking about?”

“Oh, yeah,” Happiness said, getting to her feet. “I saw her before… she’s in that new place… a new maze… that popped up a little while ago.”

“Great,” Beastboy muttered. “Another maze…”

“Can you take us there?” Cyborg asked.

“Love to… but you’ve gotta catch me first!” She took off running and laughing again, and though the boys tried to catch up to her it wasn’t long before she had completely disappeared.

“Dude,” Beastboy said as he and Cyborg gave up, both of them panting slightly. “We really need to find ourselves a better guide.”


	20. Chapter 20

Robin and Starfire dove behind the kitchen counter to avoid a barrage of dark energy blasts that the possessed Raven had thrown at them. The distraction wasn’t going quite as well as Robin had hoped it would; he was already nursing a few cuts and dark bruises. Starfire was in better physical shape, although the concern she had for her dear friend was weighing heavily on her mind the longer they fought her. As for the evil, red-cloaked Raven, there wasn’t a scratch on her.

“Is it me, or is she getting more powerful?” Robin asked quietly, grasping a cut on his arm.

“It would certainly appear that way, yes,” Starfire replied in the same anxious tone of voice.

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Robin hurled an explosive over the counter at the demonic Titan, the blast throwing her back only a few feet. “If she’s getting stronger, that can only mean Raven is getting weaker.” He punched the cabinet doors in frustration. “I wish I knew what was going on in there!”

“Robin, do not be upset.” Starfire gently touched his balled fist in a gesture of reassurance, an emotion she herself desperately wanted to feel. “They will find her; I know they will.”

Robin looked at her with a pained expression on his face. “I just hope they’re not too late when they do.”

“ _No use hiding, cowards!_ ” Raven encased the cabinet in a black aura and lifted her arms upward, tearing it out of the floor to reveal the two Titans. “ _You wanted to fight me, so get up and fight!_ ” She threw her arms down, dropping the kitchen piece toward them.

“Split up!” Robin shouted, and he and Starfire jumped in opposite directions as the cabinet crashed down where they had been only moments before, smashing into splinters.

Starfire immediately took to the air and shot a series of green fireballs at a levitating Raven, but she cradled each green blast in solid bowls of dark energy before they ever touched her. Starfire halted her attack, seeing that Raven was neutralizing it without difficulty. The red-cloaked girl smiled viciously and, channeling her energies, used her arm motions to start throwing Starfire’s own starbolts right back at her.

The assault came completely unexpected. Starfire retreated back toward the window and tried to evade the green energy blasts, but there were too many; she’d given Raven too much ammunition. It wasn’t long before the green fire found its mark, hitting her square in the chest; the explosion sent Starfire sailing stunned back toward the window. She managed to maintain enough resistance that she only cracked the glass when she hit it—rather than propelling through and shattering it completely—but there was no avoiding the rest of the bombardment now. Starfire fell forward toward the floor in a daze as Raven hurled the last few energy balls directly at her without mercy, one right after the other, cackling nastily.

But the possessed Titan had forgotten to keep tabs on Robin while she battled Starfire, so when he yanked on the lasso he’d looped around Raven’s legs and pulled her crashing down to the floor, she was somewhat surprised. That surprise, however, promptly dissolved into annoyance.

“ _Very sneaky, Robin,_ ” she growled, recovering quickly.

Rolling over and using her powers to control the rope, she coiled it around him, pinning his arms to his sides. Raven slipped the loop from around her ankles and gave it a quick and powerful tug, spinning Robin around as if he were a yo-yo and sending him twirling right into a wall.

She barely had time to chuckle before Starfire, having recovered from the previous attack, brought her down in a powerful tackle from behind; they landed on the floor with a grunt. Raven immediately elbowed Starfire in the stomach and twisted her arm around, causing her to cry out in pain.

Raven took advantage of the momentary break in the alien’s strength to squirm free and sent a shadow to tear the “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAVEN!” banner from the wall. She wrapped Starfire up very tightly in her own handiwork and hurled her bodily at the only counter that was still attached to the ground, the counter that still miraculously had Beastboy’s birthday cake sitting on it, though not for very much longer. The bundle containing the Tamaranian girl landed on the dessert and splattered it in a dozen directions before flipping over the countertop and making a hard landing next to Robin, who had just managed to recover his bearings. He tossed a smoke screen at Raven to keep her busy while he freed his teammate.

“So much for Beastboy’s cake, huh, Star?” he said somewhat lightly, using a birdarang to start slicing through the banner. There was no response. “Starfire?” Her eyes were closed and she wasn’t moving. She didn’t seem to be breathing, either.

Beginning to panic, Robin hastily freed her of the binding; no sooner had he cut through the portion around her chest than Starfire’s green eyes flew open and she gasped in a deep breath, coughing and wheezing. Robin pulled her up in his arms to rest in his lap.

“Are you alright?” Robin asked, his face and voice twisted in worry and concern.

Starfire nodded weakly and put a hand to her head. “It was… so tight I… could not… breathe…”

The smokescreen Robin had created was gone by this time, leaving them utterly exposed to another attack. Starfire had no time to recover from her ordeal before Raven telekinetically picked her up and threw her screaming out the open doorway into the hall. In a rage, Robin leapt at Raven with the intent of inflicting as much damage as he possibly could with his bare hands, but he never reached his target.

Raven put out her hand calmly and wrapped a ring of dark energy around his neck, stopping him in midair. She let him dangle inches from the floor, teasing his scrabbling feet that were trying to relieve his throat of the pressure. She made the ring grow smaller and smaller as Robin struggled, desperately clawing at the dark noose that was slowly choking him.

Raven smiled viciously at his attempts and put a thoughtful finger to her chin. “ _Did you honestly think you and that nitwit over there could really defeat me? Defeat_ us _?_ ” The ring squeezed tighter as Robin wheezed and made gagging and choking noises in an effort to breathe. “ _This world… this entire dimension will belong to us by the time this night is over, whether you’re still part of it or not. Although ‘not’ is looking pretty likely right about now._ ”

She grinned sadistically and tightened the ring even more. Dark spots danced before Robin’s eyes and his arms began to get heavier. He felt his strength leaving him as his lungs ached, screamed for the oxygen they were being systematically denied. Robin glanced toward where Starfire had been thrown to make sure she was all right, even though he wouldn’t have been able to help her now if she wasn’t. He was heartened to see her roll over and start to get up; at least one of them would still be alive to keep trying to stop this evil. Raven chuckled cruelly as she prepared to crush his windpipe…

And then something peculiar happened: Raven began to laugh. Not the maniacal, evil, mocking laughter she had been using all night to provoke them and make them feel inferior. This was cheerful, joyous, sidesplitting laughter; it bubbled up in waves of good humor such that even her four red eyes seemed to be laughing. Raven held her stomach and doubled over as if she were being mercilessly tickled.

“ _That was so fantastic!_ ” she cried, giggling uncontrollably. Robin thought surely he was becoming delusional from the suffocation he was still experiencing but he looked to see that Starfire seemed to be as confused as he felt, still trying to blink sight back into her eyes to justify what her ears were hearing.

All at once Raven snapped back with a sharp gasp and the laughter died on her lips, replaced with a snarl and an expression of absolute fury on her face. Her concentration broken, the blackened loop around Robin’s neck dissipated and he dropped onto the floor, hunched over, coughing and gasping for air. He never realized just how precious a thing oxygen really was until that moment. He tried to swallow and rub the pain from his throat.

“ _I thought I incinerated that ridiculous giggling twit!_ ” Raven practically bellowed in rage. “ _And what is so blasted funny that…?_ ” She stopped mid-sentence and glared down at Robin with blazing red eyes, a vicious smile once again spreading across her face. “ _Clever, Robin! Very tricky… very tricky, indeed. You all managed to survive the collapse, then… how disappointing. I take it this was supposed to be some sort of diversion to keep me busy while Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber go find my alter ego through the looking-glass, correct?_ ”

She stooped down and turned his face upward with her hand so she could see his expression: a mix of disappointment, anger, pain, and concern. “ _Oh, it was… that’s so cute. Such a sickeningly sweet plan… I think I might just gag._ ”

Raven released him and straightened up. She stretched her hand overhead and created a black void in the ceiling. “ _I just want you to know this was all in vain. Those two idiots are never going to find her, and if by some miracle they do, by that time there will be nothing left to rescue but a hollow, empty shell._ ” She began to rise upward toward the swirling opening. “ _And now for all their meddling, they can just stay in there and starve to death… I’m sure Father would just love to add their souls to his collect… ahhh!!_ ”

Starfire zoomed through the air, her eyes glowing bright green with anger, and she tackled Raven in mid-sentence, immediately throwing her out into the hall. The portal to the upper floors was sealed off before Raven could slip away and smash the mirror.

If Starfire was angry when the battle began, now she was _livid_. She was NOT going to let this evil demon destroy her friends, and to do that she and Robin now had to keep her from destroying the portal into Raven’s head. Without it, there was a good chance Beastboy and Cyborg wouldn’t be able to get out, and Starfire found that absolutely unacceptable.

“We must protect the mirror until Beastboy and Cyborg can rescue Raven and return,” Starfire said to Robin, helping him to his feet quickly.

“We have to keep her in the Tower, though,” Robin argued. “As long as she’s confined here, innocent people won’t be hurt, but she’s getting too powerful for just one of us to fight alone.”

“I will do it,” Starfire said, her green eyes blazing fiercely with unconditional loyalty and boundless confidence. She didn’t wait for Robin to object, because she knew he would; she flew in a high arch and dove straight at the evil Raven, who was still lying where Starfire had thrown her. The force of the impact sent them both straight through the floor to the level below.

Robin ran to the newly formed hole in the floor. “Starfire, you can’t…!” he cried, torn.

He couldn’t leave her. He was afraid to. Raven had grown so powerful now he outright feared for Starfire’s life with her fighting this battle alone. She was strong, but she would hold back; he knew she would. But the thing that was controlling Raven’s body and powers had shown already that she was ready to kill them without so much as a second thought, and that fact terrified him. Robin was afraid that if he left, he’d never see her alive again.

“Protect our friends, Robin!” Starfire shouted back as the two girls grappled one floor below. “Please! We promised!”

Robin swallowed hard and made the toughest decision he ever had to make in all his time as a superhero: he ran from the hole and sprinted to the rooms. He felt like there were rocks in his gut.

Starfire was right, of course; now that Raven knew what the others were trying to do, they couldn’t leave the mirror unprotected. Still…

_If that thing kills her, I swear I’ll be returning the favor._


	21. Chapter 21

The next arch Beastboy and Cyborg passed through brought them back out to the gray, rocky plain and crimson skies. In the distance they could see the stone mountain that contained the Forbidden Door, their way out of Raven’s mind and back to whatever reality that awaited them back home. Now at least they knew how to leave once they’d found her. An enormous gray cloud of dust hung in the air between where they stood and the exit. The angry black birds were gone from the immediate surroundings, and an eerie quiet had settled over the area.

“Now, I’m not complaining or nothin’…” Beastboy began once they had passed through the shimmering veil and taken in their situation. “But what happened to the flock of evil birds?”

“Unkindness,” a preoccupied sounding voice said somewhere behind them.

Cyborg had his sonic blaster ready in an instant, but knew he probably wouldn’t need it; the voice was distinctly Raven’s. Well… one of them, anyway. The two boys whirled around to face yellow-cloaked Intellect. She sat calmly reading on a rock beneath a dead tree, surrounded by books and pages and scrolls; stacks of manuscripts encircled her all around. Her face was half buried in a very thick volume; Intellect regarded them with curious eyes over the top of her reading and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

Beastboy chuckled. “It’s Raven’s inner geek! Sweet!”

Cyborg ignored him and started toward her. “What did you say?” he asked, reconfiguring his cannon back into a hand. Intellect watched him, fascinated, before turning her eyes back down to the pages she was studying.

“It’s not a flock of birds… it’s an unkindness of ravens. And I believe they’ve gone off to report your intrusion to their dark lord.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Beastboy cried, covering his head with his hands in exaggerated despair. “Gah! This day just keeps getting worse and worse! What next?”

“Oh, please,” another similar voice said as orange-cloaked Apathy rose up from the ground beside them. She gave a disinterested yawn and leaned against the nearby tree beside Intellect, crossing her arms. “Don’t be so dramatic… it never solves anything.”

Once he was over his momentary surprise of seeing two Ravens in front of him, Beastboy scowled. “Don’t you get it? Or do you just not care? Trigon is going to _kill_ us if he knows we’re here.”

Apathy rolled her eyes and scratched under her chin. “Hardly,” she said, reaching her arms overhead for a hearty stretch. “Despite what you’d like to believe, not everything is about you. If you want to get technical, you haven’t accomplished _anything_ since you got here. He’s not going to go looking for you because you pose no real threat. Right now you’re the least of his problems and easily taken care of, so get over yourself.”

Beastboy fumed silently while Cyborg looked at the stacks and stacks of tomes Intellect was perusing. The books had no titles.

“That’s a lot of reading,” he said to her. “Do you carry these everywhere you go?”

She turned the page. “Not usually, but they burned down my study.”

“‘They’?” Beastboy repeated, turning his attention from Apathy to Intellect. “They who?”

“Trigon and Hate… I had to take everything with me or it would have been destroyed. Of course, if I had let it all be destroyed, then perhaps they wouldn’t be able to use her own knowledge and memories against her.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“There’s a sentence to remember,” Apathy chimed in somewhat obnoxiously, sliding down the side of the tree to sit on the ground. Intellect chose to disregard that statement.

Cyborg looked at the many stacks again, this makeshift forest of parchment. “So you mean to tell me all of this is…”

“All her knowledge, memories, thoughts, ideas… every piece of wisdom and information she has ever come to know. Yes.”

“Wow.” Beastboy marveled at the sheer size and number of volumes. “I didn’t realize Raven knew so much. Bet my head’s got, like, half this much stuff.”

_That’s a generous estimate,_ Cyborg thought silently at about the same time Apathy muttered, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Intellect turned the page again. “I’m trying to come up with a solution to this whole mess. I know it’s here somewhere… I just have to find it.” She glanced up over her glasses at Beastboy, who was just peeking inside the top book of a very tall stack with black bindings.

Intellect snapped her reading shut abruptly. “Don’t touch those!” Beastboy squeaked in surprise and jumped behind Cyborg with a guilty expression on his face. She sighed and put her book atop another stack. “Those are spells and dark magic… I don’t want to study them unless I have to. They’re a last resort… not something to be played with.”

Beastboy gave a sheepish grin and scratched the back of his head. “Heh… sorry. My bad.”

Cyborg gave him an annoyed look and walked toward her. “So, maybe you can help us…”

Beastboy tuned him out and glanced back at the pile briefly. He paused as his eyes caught sight of a small hand curled around the side of the books. He did a bit of a double take as a figure cloaked in gray suddenly separated itself from the surrounding drab background, as though a 3D picture had suddenly come into focus. A sad-eyed, fearful face peeked out from behind her hiding place.

“I don’t know what to do,” Timid whispered, sounding half-terrified. “I feel so lost…”

Beastboy inched toward his teammate very slowly, so as not to scare the newest emotion that had decided to join them. “Cy…” he hissed urgently, waving in his general direction to get his attention. “Get over here…”

Cyborg and Intellect stopped talking and followed Beastboy’s gaze to Timid, who had slowly moved out from behind the stacks, grasping her gray cloak tightly about her. She was staring down the path where the cloud of dust was still just beginning to settle, looking as though she was on the verge of crying. They saw what she was gazing at and understood at once why she was lost.

The maze she had helped Beastboy and Cyborg through last time they came to visit had been toppled over; dust hung in the air above the flattened walls of her home, what resembled a bunch of fallen dominoes.

Timid turned to them with the most piteous expression on her face. “It’s all gone…” she said pathetically.

Cyborg frowned, becoming visibly angry. “This is seriously getting old.” He turned to Intellect. “What’s with all the destruction? Are they demolition-happy or something?”

“No… they’re evil.” Seeing that wasn’t enough of an explanation for him, she went on. “They’re greedy… and Hate takes up too much space once you allow it to grow. I’m sure they’d rather the rest of us be gone, and so are attempting to pick us off one by one. Happiness’s fields, my study, her lounge…” she motioned toward Apathy, who was still lazing idly against the tree, “…and now Timid’s maze. They most likely thought we would be destroyed along with our respective locations, but we’ve been lucky.”

“But what’s all this doing to Raven?” Beastboy wondered aloud. No one answered him. Timid sniffled a little.

“We need to find her,” Cyborg said, his forehead knitted in worry. “And we need a guide.”

Intellect looked to her books as though longing to return to their pages. “I would, but there’s no time. I have to keep working.” She glanced at where Apathy had been sitting only to find that she was no longer there; she’d slipped away without so much as a goodbye. “Well, that figures…”

“What about the green one?” Cyborg asked.

Intellect adjusted her glasses. “I know Courage and Affection have gone off to harass Trigon…”

“‘Affection’?” Beastboy repeated.

Intellect gave him an irritated glance. “Would you prefer the word ‘Love’ instead?”

Beastboy was dumbstruck. “No… I just… I never… she doesn’t…” he stammered.

“Don’t look to deny her one of the most important of emotions just because she can’t always show it,” Intellect chided him. “Everyone needs love… to love and to be loved. And there are so many different kinds of love… friendship, teammates, family… if she didn’t at least care for the rest of you in some way, do you think any of this would be happening at all?”

Beastboy, for once in his life, had absolutely nothing to say in response. Intellect went to stand amongst her books and motioned at Timid. “She will show you to the labyrinth.”

“But she just said she was lost!” Beastboy cried.

Timid recoiled as though she expected to be struck. She drew the folds of her cloak tighter around her, trying to find some sense of security. “They don’t like me…” she murmured fretfully. “I probably wouldn’t be any help anyway…”

Intellect shot Beastboy a rather poisonous look. “You should really become acquainted with a dictionary. There are different meanings for the word ‘lost,’ as well.” She picked up the book she had been reading and held it to her chest with one arm. She and the crude library around her began to sink into the ground. “Make her feel safe,” Intellect said to Cyborg; she had clearly had enough of Beastboy. “She’ll guide you to where you need to go. It’s not far… but be careful.”

With that she was gone; to where, the boys had no idea. They looked to their new guide, who stood shaking uneasily under the weight of her appointed task. She looked up at Cyborg with worried, anxious eyes.

“What if I mess up again?” she asked, her voice very small and uncertain. “What if something goes wrong?”

“You won’t mess up,” Cyborg assured her gently, and he configured his sonic blaster. “And I’ll leave this ready in case of trouble. That okay?”

Timid hesitated a moment before giving a slight nod. The three figures moved quickly across the rocky landscape, aware that they were probably being watched but knowing that there was nothing they could do about it.

***

For a long while they were quiet as they walked. Beastboy was paranoid and continually scanned the skies and terrain for Trigon or his minions, and Cyborg was trying to keep track of where they were going so they could make their way back to the exit. But eventually the lonely silence began to make Timid even more nervous, and more than anything she wanted to fill it, even if it meant bringing up painful matters.

“I know you probably don’t like me anymore,” she began, and her voice quivered slightly. “But I want you to know… I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Beastboy asked, and gave her a questioning glance.

“For the building… for all this.” Her eyes glistened with potential tears.

“It’s not your fault, though…” Cyborg started, but Timid interrupted him.

“It is… and I’m so sorry. I tried to be careful… I tried so hard. I wanted to be good… I never wanted to hurt you…” she rambled, looking thoroughly miserable.

Beastboy and Cyborg exchanged glances; what could they say to relieve her anxiety?

“I tried to call it back,” she went on as a tear rolled down her cheek. “And I just couldn’t… I shouldn’t have lost it like that… and then I couldn’t get to you…”

“You can’t beat yourself up over this,” Cyborg said.

“Yeah,” Beastboy agreed quickly before Timid began the self-deprecation again. “It’s not like this was something you could control.”

She gave them the most heartbreaking, despondent look they had ever seen. “Exactly.”

Beastboy snapped his mouth shut. _Blew it again… I should really think about taking a vow of silence or something…_

“Over here.” Timid motioned for them to follow her. “This is where he’s keeping her…”

They were just coming around behind the mountain now; apparently Trigon didn’t waste any time establishing his presence in Raven’s mind once he took over. The maze itself was enormous, and from what they could see of the entrance, the walls were huge mirror-like screens. The passages reflected whoever stood in front of them, but there was depth there as well. Beyond the simple reflections were images of… people. Men, women, children… they cried out in silent despair and anguish beyond the surface, the passages reflecting each other infinitely, each reflection within containing different, equally tormented faces.

Cyborg and Beastboy stared intently at the first panel just inside the entrance, both fascinated and horrified at the same time. Beyond the reflections of their own shocked expressions, the countless myriad of individuals stretched on until they could only make out specks of color. It seemed like it went on forever.

“Who are they?” Cyborg asked, tearing his eyes away to settle instead on Timid’s frightened face.

“Souls,” she replied, and backed up slightly. “He collects souls…”

“Raven?!” Beastboy called, although he knew he probably wouldn’t get an answer back. He morphed to a bird to fly over the maze and find her, but there was a force field overhead. There was no way around it; they’d have to go through.

“Come on,” Cyborg said to them, and gritted his teeth against the gruesome and ghastly apparitions writhing in apparent agony beyond the walls of the maze as he started forward. Beastboy was right behind him, but Timid would not follow.

“I can’t,” she whispered pitiably. “I don’t know my way… I’ll get lost…”

“It’s okay,” Beastboy tried to assure her, but she was already sinking into the ground.

“I’m sorry… I can’t.” She looked up at them with pleading, soulful eyes. “Please be careful… I don’t want to lose you again… I don’t want to be alone…”

And just like that, she was gone. The two Titans were on their own.


	22. Chapter 22

“We can’t do this by trial and error,” Cyborg stated firmly. “If we can’t find our way back, it won’t matter if we locate Raven or not.”

Beastboy smiled smugly. “Got it covered,” he said, and morphed into a hound. He sniffed Cyborg’s foot and the ground and changed back. “Yeah, no problem. No matter where we go, I can follow our scent back the same way.”

Cyborg was fairly impressed. “Can you track down Raven like that?”

Beastboy’s face fell. “I didn’t smell anyone else… just us. It’s like no one’s walked this thing before.”

Cyborg started forward, a determined look on his face. “Then let’s blaze a trail, and fast.”

At first they just tried to aim toward wherever the center of the maze was, but they quickly abandoned that plan once they realized that there really was no way to tell which direction they were heading. After the second or third passage choice, even Cyborg had no clue where they were in conjunction with the maze or the exit or the center. The funhouse mirror effect of the walls and the tortured souls within them didn’t make the journey go any smoother, either.

Beastboy glimpsed the profile of a little girl who was crying on one side of him. He paused for a better look and then she turned to face him fully: half her face was melted away, flesh boiling and empty eye-socket staring blankly at him from behind gnarled strings of blonde hair. Beastboy yelped in surprise and repulsion before running to catch up with Cyborg.

“This place is sick!” he cried, and kept his hands on either side of his face to keep his eyes from straying back to the mangled apparitions beyond the walls. “It’s driving me batty!” He changed to a bat and back just to illustrate his point.

“And we’ve only been here for ten minutes,” Cyborg said grimly. They both fell silent again while that sentence sank in.

They turned right at the next fork. Cyborg glimpsed the new line of souls beyond his unhappy reflection and was surprised to find they were waving their arms frantically, trying to get his attention. The grisly spirits motioned in whatever way they could back in the opposite direction. He put his hand on Beastboy’s shoulder and they stopped walking.

“I think we’re going the wrong way,” Cyborg said to him as they stared somewhat incredulous at the teeming mass of entities.

“So creepy…” Beastboy shuddered.

“But helpful.” They turned around and took the other fork.

The specters pointed them in the right direction whenever the Titans needed it; now that they weren’t walking blind, they moved faster, practically sprinting down the tall corridors. They turned one final corner and suddenly the narrow passage opened up to reveal the center of the maze. And at the other end of the moderately spaced area they could see a small figure cloaked in blue. At last their mission was accomplished: they’d finally found Raven.

Beastboy and Cyborg took off running toward her with a chorus of happy “Rae!” and “Raven!”s. Her hood was up and she would not turn around. The closer they got, the more and more apparent it became that something was wrong. They were just a few feet away from her now when they stopped dead in their tracks; their joyful exclamations turned to gasps.

Raven was kneeling on the ground, her head bowed forward as though it had just gotten too heavy to support anymore. Her cloak was torn and dirty, and she looked so much smaller than usual. Her hands were shackled together and chained to a black post in the ground; if she had wanted to stand up, she couldn’t. Raven was tugging feebly, repeatedly, at the fetters and the chain; her wrists had been scraped raw from her struggling, and trickles of blood ran down her loosely balled fists.

There was a big half-mirrored screen in front of her like the rest of the labyrinth, but this one didn’t contain souls. It was functioning like a television behind her lonely, depressed reflection, playing images in a loop over and over again. As the boys watched, they recognized that afternoon’s battle as it was from Raven’s perspective. Her black energy missed Trigon and blasted the Titans back into the building; she was too late, too drained to call it back as the structure collapsed on top of them. It was glaringly obvious what the purpose of all this was: torture. Trigon was making her relive her most painful moments over and over and over again. Little by little, wearing Raven down. Little by little, draining her powers. Little by little, driving her mad.

It was almost completely silent here, save for one very strange, very alien sound that neither Cyborg nor Beastboy had ever heard before and they hoped to never hear again: Raven was sobbing. Very quietly sobbing in absolute despair.

The boys didn’t know what to do.

Cyborg uprooted himself from the ground first, taking very slow, very quiet steps forward. “Rae?” He spoke to her gently, like he was speaking to a child. “It’s okay… we’re gonna get you out of here.”

She didn’t even flinch.

Beastboy started forward as well. “Raven?”

“Don’t look…” She spoke so softly they could barely catch the words. Her voice was harsh and raspy, devoid of what little vitality it once had… as though she’d screamed it hoarse. “Don’t look… just another trick… an illusion… nothing more.”

The Titans were so close to Raven now they could reach out and touch her, but they didn’t. They were afraid to; she looked so entirely beaten that there was no telling what something even as simple as physical contact would do. They were scared that it might very well shatter her.

Even so, the boys knew they were still working against the clock. They hadn’t been in contact with either Robin or Starfire since they’d split up, but at this point they had to assume the worst. And every passing moment Raven seemed to be fading.

“Raven, please look at us,” Beastboy pleaded. “You didn’t kill us. We’re all okay; just look, please!”

If she had the ability to cover her ears, she would have. Her head drooped lower. “Lies…”

_She’s snapped…_ Beastboy reached out to put his hand on her shoulder. “Please look…”

A black shield flew up around her. He and Cyborg backed up slightly, startled, but the shield was no more than a thin film. It flickered like a malfunctioning hologram or a broken light. Cyborg poked it tentatively with his finger and it crackled and flaked apart, taking with it most of what remained of Raven’s strength. A small moan escaped her lips as she pitched forward.

Cyborg was there in a flash. He grasped her shoulders firmly and knelt beside her so he could cut the shackles away.

“Turn that thing off,” he told Beastboy through clenched teeth, motioning toward the flashing screen that was still playing.

“With pleasure.” Beastboy morphed to gorilla and balled up his fists. _I hate bad programming almost as much as I hate funhouse mirrors…_

He pounded the wall with all his might, the power of every ounce of anger and concern he had behind this one punch. The screen cracked and pieces fell to the ground. The moving pictures stopped. He became human once more, rubbing the pain from his hands.

When Beastboy knelt beside his two teammates, Cyborg had already sawed the shackles and chain from Raven’s wrists; the irons lay harmlessly on the ground around the black spike. He had her small face cradled in his big hands; her eyes were open beyond the shadows her hood cast on her face, but they were dull, dim. There was no sign of hope in them. It was as though she were looking right through him.

“Come on, Rae, see me,” Cyborg urged her, and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “See us. We want to take you home.”

“So real…” Raven wanted to be certain. She _needed_ to be certain. Her eyes had deceived her so many times tonight; it was hard to trust them again. But this mental mirage was different. It was lasting too long; there was too much to it.

Raven reached up to cover Cyborg’s hand with hers and closed her eyes tight. _And when I open them again, this will all be gone…_ But she could still feel his cool touch, her hand on his. There was a new feeling now as something gently squeezed her other hand. When Raven made the choice to finally open her eyes, her friends were still there in front of her. She dropped her gaze to see that Beastboy had taken hold of her hand. She returned his squeeze. When she lifted her eyes back to their worried faces, there was new focus in them.

“Then I didn’t… you didn’t…” It was strange to be talking to another person, to expect a response; Raven had been talking to herself for what felt like ages now.

Relief washed over the boys’ faces. “No,” Cyborg answered. “Not a scratch on us.”

Her face twisted in distress at a new thought. “And Robin and Starfire…?”

“They’re okay,” Beastboy assured her. “They’re keeping you and Hothead busy.”

Raven frowned grimly and gave a single feeble pull at Cyborg’s wrist. He let go of her face, somewhat surprised. “Then they’re anything but okay.”

“And that’s our cue to hit the sawdust trail,” Beastboy said, getting to his feet.

Cyborg rose as well, but when Raven tried to get up her numbed legs refused to support her. She collapsed almost immediately back to the ground. Cyborg and Beastboy leapt forward right away to assist her, but she wouldn’t accept their outstretched hands. Raven sat half sprawled, her upper body being wholly supported by her arms; they shook violently as if every remaining ounce of energy was being used to simply maintain this position. Her head was bowed again, too heavy to hold up. Still she refused the boys’ aid.

Beastboy became impatient and annoyed. “Why won’t you let us help you?!” he demanded.

Cyborg, on the other hand, was a bit more understanding. He sat back on his heels beside her. “Rae, I know this has been a very bad day for you…”

_The understatement of all time._

“… and I have a feeling this is probably gonna get worse before it gets better.”

_You don’t even know how much worse…_

“But you gotta let us help you get outta here. Please. You can’t do this on your own.”

_But I should be able to._ Raven opened her mouth to say something and snapped it shut again. Cyborg caught a glimpse of a slight blush on her very pale face.

He lowered his voice. “Maybe nobody ever told you: accepting help doesn’t make you weak.”

“No matter what Daddy says,” Beastboy added helpfully.

“You’ve helped all of us out of some pretty tight spots… can’t you please let us get you out of this one? I mean… that’s what friends do.”

_Friends…_ Raven’s arm suddenly buckled. Cyborg reached out and caught her shoulder before she ended up eating dirt. She grasped his arm for dear life and realized he was the only thing that was keeping her from falling.

_Have faith…_

“I can’t… stand…” she said very softly, her voice breaking.

Cyborg scooped her up easily in his arms, both somewhat alarmed and surprised at how light she was. Raven was always very slight in height and figure, but it was almost as if she weighed nothing at all. It was like he was carrying a limp rag doll rather than his teammate.

“You all right?” he asked.

She nodded weakly, fighting to keep her eyes open. “I’m fine…”

Beastboy gave her a doubtful look. “You lie like a rug.”

Raven’s eyelids drooped heavily. “No, really… I’m just… a little… tired…” Her eyes closed as her words trailed off. Her head suddenly fell back, unsupported.

“Rae?” Cyborg shook her gently. “Stay with us… Rae? Raven?!” It was no use. Her eyes wouldn’t open.

Cyborg readjusted his position so her head could rest on his arm. Her hood fell back as he got her settled, and the boys could see her face, the dark bruises around her eyes and the lines her tears had etched down her cheeks. They stared dumbly at Raven for a brief moment, both aghast and distraught.

“Come on, B,” Cyborg said, trying to get back to what they were supposed to be doing. “Let’s get her out of here.”

The little changeling nodded dully. He paused a moment before changing forms. “Cy? I’m worried.”

“I know, man. Me too.”

Somewhere overhead the sound of thunderous, evil laughter emanated from the dark red sky. There was no mistaking whose voice it was. The boys looked at each other. Beastboy became a green hound and they headed quickly back through the maze of souls.


	23. Chapter 23

Starfire didn’t pause a single moment after Robin left to retrieve and protect Raven’s mirror. The persistence with which she fought against Raven surprised even her.

She knew the weight her recent actions carried; there was a very good chance that if she faltered from fighting even for the briefest instant the thing that was possessing her good friend would take advantage and destroy her. She was certain that—were Raven able to communicate with her—she would tell Starfire not to hold back. She would more likely than not say, “Do whatever you have to.”

At least, that’s what Starfire _hoped_ Raven would say.

So, she provided the distraction necessary to protect the rest of her friends. The two girls were in the control center now; computers and video screens lined the walls, though none of the monitors were up and functioning at the moment.

Starfire didn’t waste any time; no sooner had they landed on the floor than she threw Raven against the wall of dark screens. Several displays cracked and the red-cloaked girl fell stunned back down to the floor. Starfire grabbed Raven by her legs and threw her up toward the ceiling, hurling a starbolt directly at her in mid-air. The possessed Titan was blasted into and through the doors out into the hall. She had no time to recover before Starfire attacked again with her green eye beams.

The pace was exhausting, but it was the only way Starfire could come up with to keep Raven from summoning her own powers against her. She had to keep her too stunned to think. A moment’s repose would probably allow enough mental clarity for Raven to conjure some kind of attack, and with the level of power she had gained Raven would be much more than formidable… she would be downright deadly.

Starfire slammed them down through floor after floor, as far from the bedrooms as they could be: the basement storage area. She picked Raven up and slammed her into the nearest pile of crates and boxes. Repeatedly. Then she took Raven by the throat and held her against one of the steel support beams. Starfire squeezed her fingers just a little, just enough to make breathing a problem. Just enough to keep Raven from focusing on anything but the pain.

“This disrupted my powers,” she said to the evil creature that possessed her dear friend. “Perhaps it will do the same to yours.”

The burning red eyes narrowed in absolute hatred. “ _You people are just full of clever ideas today, aren’t you?_ ”

A little more pressure. Raven coughed a few times, but nothing more than that. Too proud in her state of anger and hatred, she simply hung in Starfire’s grip, not struggling at all. She knew there was no reason to waste her strength. There was no rush; she was in no danger. She had all the time in the world.

Starfire held a green glow in her other hand so she could see Raven’s face. She looked even more fiendish with the green light and the dark shadows mixing in and around the four glowing red eyes. Starfire shuddered.

“ _What’s the matter?_ ” Raven scoffed, her demonic voice gruff from the pressure on her throat. “ _Losing your nerve? Afraid?_ ”

“Not at all,” Starfire replied evenly, although deep inside she _was_ somewhat afraid. Not so much for herself, but for her friends. Were they all right? Had Cyborg and Beastboy found Raven? Or had the evil Trigon already succeeded in destroying her spirit? And in fighting this thing possessing her body, was Starfire hurting her friend as well?

The red-cloaked girl smiled cruelly. “ _That was a rather courageously stupid thing you did, opting to fight me alone._ ” She barked out a harsh laugh. “ _Bravery… such a ridiculous emotion. The only one I despise as much as Love. Foolhardy…  accomplishes nothing except getting yourself killed. But you’ll learn that soon enough._ ”

“Rather arrogant statements to make when you take into account that I am the one in control of your air supply at the moment,” Starfire said, trying to keep her voice cool despite the many unpleasant emotions that were bubbling within her.

Raven snorted in contempt. “ _The emptiest of threats. Don’t think for a moment you’re fooling anyone but yourself. But by all means, please keep squeezing… you’ll make Trigon’s job a whole lot easi… ack!_ ” A sudden increase in pressure from Starfire’s grip made her gag on her words.

“Release her!” she demanded, her eyes blazing bright green.

Raven sneered. “ _No. It’s too much fun to watch her squirm._ ”

Starfire lifted her up and slammed her back into the beam. “If you do not stop hurting my friend I will…”

“ _You’ll do nothing, and you know it,_ ” Raven croaked confidently. “ _You’d never destroy this body; that would ruin any chance you have of seeing those two idiots again and of restoring her soul._ ” She grinned viciously in absolute self-assurance. “ _And you know as well as I do that you just don’t have it in you to kill her._ ”

The demon was right, and Starfire knew it. It infuriated her. “Get out of her right now, you foul evil thing!”

“ _Make me._ ” If the evil Raven had had the ability to spit at the alien, she would have. “ _Trigon is perfectly comfortable controlling her powers, and I’m a part of her, whether you like it or not. I’m not going anywhere._ ”

Starfire wouldn’t believe her words. It was inconceivable that so much evil, so much hatred could be a part of Raven.

“I do not understand,” she said, confused, still keeping pressure on the being’s neck. Her momentary uncertainty didn’t make her forget that the thing she was restraining would leap at the chance to hurt her. “Why would you do this if you are part of her?

Raven grunted, annoyed. “ _Don’t think she’s so innocent… if she weren’t so inherently weak, she’d have destroyed me long ago, just as I am doing to her now. It’s just a matter of survival of the fittest._ ”

This thing wanted to kill Starfire and her friends and take over their entire dimension. She was in league with the evil Trigon. There was no good in her… and for that reason, Starfire pitied her. She couldn’t imagine being so consumed by hatred to never know the joy of friendship or love.

The evil Raven saw the change in Starfire’s face as it became unquestionably sympathetic. That made her angry. “ _Do_ not _look at me like that,_ ” she warned.

“I cannot fathom hating any portion of myself so much that I would do something like this,” Starfire said, shaking her head. “I should despise you for what you have done and are doing… but right now I just feel sorry for you.”

Fury and hatred overrode the pain. Raven’s dark powers began to pick up strength. Her red eyes flashed dangerously and black energy swirled furiously around both girls. Starfire’s grip was lost as the dark cyclone became more and more powerful. She was forced to retreat a few feet away.

“ _Don’t you DARE try to psychoanalyze me!_ ” Raven roared, levitating off the ground, black shadows circling all around her. “ _You think you know, but you know NOTHING! I hate her because THAT’S WHAT I AM. I_ am _Darkness, I_ am _Hate, I_ am _Rage. I am the daughter of Trigon the Terrible, and now that I have finally been set free, I WON’T BE BOTTLED UP IN SOME CORNER OF HER HEAD ANY LONGER._ ”

Red flames shot from all four of her eyes as crates and boxes either melted or blew up. She mentally sent a crate flying at Starfire, who blasted it to pieces with a well-aimed starbolt. Still Raven kept bellowing at her.

“ _I want to torture and I want to kill and I want everything that she ever held dear_ thoroughly _destroyed… and I want to make her watch and suffer for burying me, always stifling my potential._ ” The storm around her began to settle, as though such wicked thoughts satisfied her. Raven smiled the same evil grin of her father. “ _In case you don’t get it, I’ll make it simple for you: I want her and this world she tried so hard to protect annihilated… and I will get what I want._ ”

At this point Starfire realized that she had made a serious mistake saying what she did. She also realized that Robin had probably found and gotten the mirror somewhere safe by now. Now that Starfire no longer had the edge in this battle, it was obvious how serious her predicament was about to become. She could not fight Raven alone while she was this powerful and this angry. She would surely lose the battle and probably her life.

She took to the air, aiming for the hole she had made so she could find Robin and get some backup.

Raven stretched her hand toward her. “ _DON’T YOU FLY OFF WHILE I’M TALKING TO YOU._ ”

Something icy cold gripped Starfire’s insides and knocked the wind out of her. She dropped like a stone back down to the hard basement floor. She was stunned for a moment, but it wasn’t a long fall. She tried to take flight again… and instead stumbled in surprise back to the ground. Every leap Starfire took didn’t last; she could no longer fly. Raven had literally grounded her.

“ _You should have destroyed me when you had the chance,_ ” the possessed Titan said to her spitefully.

Starfire was unused to fighting without her gift of flight. Every starbolt she threw she misjudged the distance it would go; every shot missed its target miserably. Raven cast a shadow beneath where Starfire stood and she sank into the floor. Taken by surprise and unable to fly, she couldn’t escape its pull. Raven released her powers when Starfire had sunk waist deep, her arms pinned to her sides and her legs trapped in the cement floor. The Tamaranian girl struggled to break free, but it was no use. She was helpless.

“ _That’s why heroes will never have the upper hand,_ ” Raven continued, stalking toward her menacingly. “ _You refuse to be ruthless because you have a stupid conscience holding you back. Your emotions, these little relationships you have… all that nonsense makes you weak. This stupid little team is wrought with built-in weaknesses. And that is why Trigon and I are going to win this war._ ”

She stopped suddenly. Starfire watched as she stood with a distant look on her face, as though she were searching inwardly for something. A wide evil grin broke out on Raven’s face.

She looked Starfire in the eyes and said callously, “ _It’s over. Somewhere in my head a little blue bird just died._ ”

“No!” Starfire cried, and started to struggle even harder. “You lie!”

“ _Now don’t be sad,_ ” Raven said, mocking her grief. She cast a black aura around a large, heavy crate. “ _You’ll be joining her soon enough. But first…_ ”

The crate was sent barreling straight at Starfire. Trapped with no way to block it, she took the hit head on. The force at which it collided with her caused the crate to explode, and Starfire slumped forward, knocked out.

Raven opened a portal in the floor around Starfire and yanked the alien back out. She grasped her two wrists together in a grip that would crush normal people’s bones, and rose up toward the hole in the ceiling.

“ _…there’s nothing better than live bait to catch a Robin._ ”


	24. Chapter 24

In the past few hours, Raven had been to the very brink of madness, lost in her own mind, abused, deprived of the very things that gave her life meaning.

It had nearly destroyed her.

But now, bit by bit, she was slowly backing away from that abyss.

Raven could feel herself almost floating, but she knew she wasn’t doing it. She knew she didn’t have enough power left to levitate even a pebble, let alone herself. She felt drained, mentally and spiritually; her father’s many attempts to break her spirit had nearly succeeded, and she was exhausted from them. He had certainly managed to bleed most of Raven’s power and energy during that time, even if she had somehow managed to hold on to her sanity. She couldn’t recall a time that she felt so shattered inside.

Voices murmured around her, and at first it was impossible to make out what they were saying. It took a long while before the words began to come in clear.

“… still looks really bad…”

“… least the bruises are almost gone now.”

“Power naps… the perfect pick-up for body, mind, and soul.” Beastboy’s joke sounded half-hearted at best. “She’s going to be okay, though… right?”

“I don’t know, man. I guess we’ll see if… when… she wakes up.”

“Nice, Cy… really uplift…”

“Shhh! She’s coming around.” And then, “That’s it, Raven… come back to us…”

Raven experimentally moved her fingers and her head, trying to see what worked, what hurt, and what didn’t. Her eyelids fluttered open, vision dim and fuzzy at first. She blinked the haze away, and gradually the intent and anxious faces of Beastboy and Cyborg came into focus.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Beastboy said with forced cheerfulness and a clearly fake smile.

Raven gave him a vaguely irritated glance, although the effort it took to be annoyed with him was really more trouble than it was worth. “It’s not morning…” Her voice still sounded raspy and the words got caught in her throat. She cleared away the sandy feeling and continued, her voice once more its usual deadpan drone. “…and of the top ten words that could be used to describe me right now, I have to tell you that ‘sunshine’ definitely isn’t one of them.”

Cyborg couldn’t say anything at first, and though he was usually the one to respect Raven’s space most of all, right then he was just so relieved she was awake and seemingly all right that he couldn’t help himself: he hugged her. Truth be told, he really needed one.

Raven could sense his relief and concern, and she could understand it had been a trying day for them as well, but still…

“Um… Cyborg? You’re hugging me.”

“I know… sorry.” He lowered her back down and gave her a serious look, laced with leftover worry. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

_I doubt I’ll have another opportunity to…_

Raven didn’t respond to that. She closed her eyes again and relaxed, settling back into his arms, conserving what little energy she had left for what was inevitably to come. She wanted to be back on her own two feet, but not yet. Not until she was sure she had the strength for it. Falling over again would have been more embarrassing than being carried.

She was hoping there would be some amount of silence while they continued to walk back on the path toward the Forbidden Door, but Cyborg and Beastboy had had enough scares for one night. They kept talking to her, just to ensure she would stay awake.

“So, Raven,” Beastboy began, and she cracked one eye open to look at him. “I know this is a really stupid question, but I’m gonna ask it anyway: how’re you doing?” He quickly added, “And don’t say ‘fine.’”

She sighed. “To be honest, my head is killing me.” _Probably quite literally true…_

Beastboy gave her a small smile. “Well, we have been traipsing around in it for most of the night.”

“ _Tee hee hee…_ ”

The muffled giggle came from a tree they were just passing. They paused as Happiness poked her head out from behind the trunk, her hand over her mouth in an attempt to suppress her laughter. “That was pretty funny, BB.” Her face lit up even more when she caught a glimpse of Raven in Cyborg’s arms. “Oh, you _did_ find her! Go you! Okay… I’m gonna go spread the good news, then. Don’t have too much fun without me!” She turned and did a few random handsprings before diving headlong down through the ground.

Raven covered her face with her hand. _So humiliating…_

“It figures, doesn’t it?” Beastboy said, staring at the spot the emotion had disappeared into. “My biggest fan is part of my biggest critic.” He gave Raven a sideways glance. “Maybe I could occasionally borrow your mirror and…”

“ _No._ ” She gave them both pretty stern looks. “That’s how you got in here again. Is nothing of mine safe from you two?”

“Come on, Raven,” Cyborg said as they started walking again. “Be easy on us. We had to get you back somehow.”

“But I hid it. I hid it _in the wall_.”

Cyborg shrugged. “We found it.” Beastboy elbowed him in the side and cleared his throat loudly. Cyborg rolled his eye. “Yeah, alright… BB was the one that figured it out.”

Raven glanced at the changeling in mild surprise; he had a smugly satisfied expression on his face. “Now how did _that_ happen?”

Cyborg shrugged. “Crackpot theories abound, but apparently he made the conscious decision to put that little nugget in his head to good use tonight.”

Beastboy gave a lopsided smile. “Don’t be getting used to it or anything. Just think of it as part of your birthday present.”

Raven rolled her eyes. _Again with the birthday thing… is it really still the same day?_

They were quiet for a time, but it was an uneasy silence. Maybe it was because he was closest in proximity to her, but Cyborg got the distinct impression that Raven was stewing beneath her emotionless facade.

“You’re annoyed.” It wasn’t even a question, but more of a statement.

“Somewhat.” Raven could see he was expecting more than that, though it took a while to compose the words. “I hid my mirror for a reason. I thought that you would have learned from the last little excursion that it’s dangerous in my head, and yet here you are again.”

“You couldn’t honestly expect us to _not_ come find you.”

“No… and I am grateful. But that doesn’t make it any less stupid or risky. You could have been hurt. You’re messing with things you don’t understand.”

“And whose fault is that?” The second those words left Beastboy’s mouth, he wanted to take them back. Raven looked like she had just been slapped. His face flushed and he turned his eyes toward the ground. _Open mouth, insert foot…_

“B, please don’t start…” Cyborg began, but Raven interrupted him.

“No… no, he’s right.” She bit her lip. “But I still don’t want you getting hurt because of the things that I never said.”

After that, the topic was dropped. The boys left Raven alone; it was evident that conversation was sapping her energy, and she needed all the strength she could muster. It wasn’t until the Forbidden Door was directly ahead that she felt she’d gathered enough energy to walk again.

“Alright, Cyborg,” Raven said. “You can put me down now.”

He hesitated. “You sure? ‘Cause if you’re still tired it’s no problem…”

“I _said_ put me down.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Cyborg set her carefully back on her feet, staying nearby just in case she fell again. It took Raven a moment or two to get her bearings; she never realized how much energy it took just to stand, how much concentration balance required. Her legs wobbled for a few seconds but she forced them to stop, well aware that her friends were watching her closely. Raven straightened up, attempting to regain some small portion of her dignity; she drew her cloak around her and donned her hood, taking comfort in its shadows. She looked just like her old self again.

“You good now?” She turned to see Beastboy and Cyborg still watching her.

Raven took a few tentative steps, almost surprised she remembered how to walk. Overhead dark lightning crackled in the red sky, and the raucous cawing and squawking of the returning evil black birds could be heard.

_He’s coming…_ Raven stiffened, and stalked past them. “I’ll be better when I get you two out of here.”

“Wait, _what_?” Beastboy and Cyborg quickly caught up to her. They were almost at the Forbidden Door now. Beastboy began motioning dramatically with his hands as he talked. “Dude, we aren’t _leaving_ you here. You’re coming home with us.”

“I can’t.”

“WHY NOT?” Both Beastboy and Cyborg were in unison on that sentence.

Cyborg continued. “Raven, the whole reason we’re here was to find you so we could take down Big, Mean, and Nasty and get you home.”

“Like last time,” Beastboy added.

“This is nothing like last time,” Raven said, her voice edged with impatience. The Forbidden Door was just in front of them now. The birds were becoming louder, swarming in the sky.

“Oh, really?” Beastboy crossed his arms in sheer dissent and took a look around at the familiar scene. “I’d like to know how this is different, because I’m getting a serious case of déjà vu here.”

Raven shot him an icy glare. “I don’t have my _body_ with me this time.”

Beastboy’s face fell; he looked like he’d just been smashed in the head with a sack of bricks.

Raven went on. “It isn’t called ‘The Forbidden Door’ for nothing. It’s designed to keep the rest of my personality traits _in my mind_. They can’t leave because they don’t have vessels _to leave in_ , nor do they have enough power to manifest physically outside my head. And now, thanks to _him_ , neither do I.”

Right on cue, a deafening roar rose up and echoed off the rocks and craggy places in and around the exit of Raven’s mind. The birds circled threateningly, ready to attack on their dark lord’s command.

“Simply put, you’re stuck here,” Cyborg said frankly, a frown on his face.

Raven’s expression was grim. “He’s drained practically all of my powers… I don’t have enough energy or the concentration it would require to send my soul out of my body.”

Still the black army of minions inundated the sky, pulling from every direction to circle directly above them. In the distance, the immense form of Trigon materialized in a flash of red lightning and a frenzy of black winged demons.

“Then we stay and fight,” Cyborg said confidently, configuring his sonic cannon and charging it.

“No,” Raven said adamantly.

“Why not?” Beastboy asked. “We can take him. We did it last time.”

“STOP SAYING THAT!” Raven yelled, briefly losing her cool. She recomposed herself and went on a little more calmly. “You didn’t fight him last time… you fought a form that my Rage had assumed. Trigon is here in body and spirit, flesh and blood, and he is too powerful to defeat. You cannot fight him. If you fight him you will _lose_ and you will _die_. And I’m not having it.”

All around the Titans, the different colored facets of Raven’s personality rose up from the ground, her own personal spectrum of reinforcements. They arrived just in time, too; Trigon was heading straight toward them, intent on stopping the Titans’ escape from Raven’s mind and destroying them in the process.

“Brought the whole gang!” Happiness declared with a twirl and a giggle. “This should be real fun.”

Raven turned to her Courage and Affection. “Do me a favor?”

“Hit me,” Courage said, a fearless look in her eyes.

“Keep him busy for a minute, please?”

Courage saluted. “No problem. We’re on it.” The green and purple-cloaked figures ran off quickly to intercept the demon.

Beastboy poked Intellect to get her attention. “Find a solution in all those big books of yours?”

“You know what I know,” she replied simply. “He is too powerful to defeat, and now that he’s drained her powers and given them to Hate, there’s little chance of getting her to relinquish control of this body. As for the dark magic—that last resort—even combined we wouldn’t have enough power to control the force. More likely it would just feed his hatred and make him stronger.”

“Isn’t there any way to fix this?” Cyborg asked Raven.

But Raven didn’t hear him. Her eyes were glazed, her mouth curled up in a vicious grin.

“ _If you don’t give me what I want I will snap her neck._ ” No sooner had she uttered the words than her hand flew to her mouth, suppressing a horrified gasp. “No!” She looked about frantically and met her friends’ eyes. “You have to leave. _Now_. She’s going to kill Starfire and break the mirror.”

The momentary shock wore off quickly. “What about you?” Beastboy asked. “How are you going to get out of this?”

“I’m not.”

Raven met their stunned stares straight on; she’d already accepted what needed to be done a long time ago. “I have to stay. With what little power I have left I’ll keep him trapped in here until you can destroy my body. That should end the threat once and for all.”

“No…” Beastboy’s eyes glistened with tears.

“You can’t ask us to do that, Rae,” Cyborg told her, his face twisted up in anguish. “You can’t.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m _telling_ you.” It was so hard to keep her face expressionless… especially when she had to look at the pain that was written all over theirs. “You don’t have a choice, and neither do I. It’s a sacrifice that has to be made for the good of all. You can’t doom the world for me. You can’t weigh one life against the rest of the universe. I’m okay with that. You have to be, too.”

“But…” Beastboy wiped his eyes. “It won’t be the same without you.”

“It won’t be the same with me.” She gave them one final smile; there was a certain peace to be felt in coming to the end. “Go. It’ll be okay.”

The two Titans reluctantly stepped toward the portal, hearts heavy and spirits dragging. They’d have given anything they owned to not have to do what they knew had to be done. Cyborg and Beastboy turned to look at their friend one last time.

“Thank you,” Raven said to them.

“For what?” Beastboy asked dejectedly. “We failed. We didn’t even do _anything_.”

She shook her head. “You’ve done more than you’ll ever know.”

“Bye, Rae.” Even Cyborg looked like he was fighting tears.

“Yeah.” Beastboy was clearly crushed. There are, after all, few things in this world more painful than losing a good friend. “See ya.”

They stepped through the swirling red and black portal of the Forbidden Door and were gone.

_No… you won’t._

Raven turned back to her small army. Courage and Affection had rejoined the group. Together they stared at the looming figure of Trigon the Terrible.

“Ready?” Raven asked.

“We who are about to die salute you!” Happiness replied, and chuckled at her very morbid joke.

Apathy rolled her eyes. “Imbecile.”

Timid gave Raven a half-terrified look. She was shaking. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

“I know,” Raven said. She felt the fear as well. “It’ll be alright.”

They were ready, and so was she. Raven looked up at her father with resolve and determination. One way or another, it would end tonight.

_Azar, give me strength…_

“Do your worst, you brute!” she cried.

Trigon twisted his lips back in a half-snarling grin. “OH, I INTEND TO.”


	25. Chapter 25

“ _Oh, Rooooobin… come out, come out, wherever you are…_ ”

The red-cloaked Raven floated down the dark corridors of the Tower, grasping an unconscious Starfire by her wrists, dragging her heels along the floor as they continued down the hallways.

She snarled, her red eyes flashing. “ _Where are you, you obnoxious, bird-brained little…?_ ”

[Raven, stop!]

The possessed Titan whirled, startled for a brief moment before the source of the voice became clear: Robin was broadcasting over the intercom system. From where, it was impossible to tell; practically every room in the Tower had a computer consol and access to the speaker system. He could be anywhere at all and still watch what she was doing, hear what she was saying, see where she was going. He could see Raven, but Raven couldn’t see him.

How very infuriating.

“ _Hiding, Robin?_ ” she growled, though a malicious smile tugged at her lips. “ _How very cowardly of you. Afraid to face me now that I have your pretty teammate?_ ”

[Let her go!] Robin’s voice demanded.

“ _Oh, sure… I’ll do just that,_ ” she replied cynically, still continuing to float down the corridor. “ _I’ll voluntarily give up the obvious edge I have over you right now. Please… don’t make me laugh._ ”

[If you hurt her, I swear…]

“ _Better be careful, Robin_ ,” Raven said, grinning evilly. “ _Your weakness is showing._ ”

There was silence for a time. Raven continued to pass through the hallways, checking rooms as she went.

“ _You’re just going to have to accept it, little birdie… you’ve lost. Your life and the lives of your little team are forfeit. Just give me my mirror so I can finish this and we can all get on with it._ ” She stopped and chuckled cruelly. “ _Well, at least I can. You won’t have that option._ ”

[No. I won’t let you do this. I’m not handing the rest of my friends over…]

“ _You don’t have a choice in the matter,_ ” Raven practically spat. “ _I want my mirror. And you will give it to me._ ”

[Never.]

Raven hauled Starfire up and shook her limp body threateningly. “ _If you don’t give me what I want I will snap her neck._ ”

A brief pause. [You wouldn’t…] Robin barely whispered the words. The horror in his voice was evident.

“ _Care to try me?_ ”

Robin hesitated. For the possessed Titan, he took too long to answer. Raven took one of Starfire’s fingers and gave it a quick yank in an unnatural direction. An audible crack could plainly be heard, and Starfire’s eyes flew open with the sharp pain. Her scream could be heard all over the Tower.

[STOP!] Robin cried. [Okay, you can have the stupid mirror! Just stop it, please!]

Raven twisted Starfire’s arms behind her back and covered her mouth with her other hand to silence the sound of the Tamaranian girl’s screams. The fiend grinned up toward the ceiling.

“ _That’s a good boy._ ”

[Alright, just… come to the infirmary and I’ll…]

“ _…Try some cunning little last ditch stunt to save the little alien and the day?_ ” Raven finished frankly. “ _Don’t insult my intelligence. I’m picking the location._ ”

A short pause. [Fine.] Robin conceded, his voice sounding strained. Raven took a certain amount of pleasure in hearing his anguish carry through the speaker system.

“ _My room. And you better be quick about it. If you’re not there by the time I am, I will kill her and leave her body in the hall for you to trip over._ ”

There was a thump and the brief sound of feedback over the intercom. Wherever Robin was when he made his transmission, it was obvious he wasn’t there now.

Starfire tried with all her might to wriggle free of Raven’s grasp, but to no avail. The demonic Titan had a grip like a steel vise. Even Starfire’s alien strength was no match for her now.

“ _Quit fidgeting,_ ” Raven said nastily, speaking the words right into her ear. “ _Just relax. It’ll all be over soon._ ”

Raven floated up through the ceiling toward the rooms, still grasping her bargaining chip, eagerly anticipating the impending violence. When she thought they were dead before, it filled her with intense satisfaction. She couldn’t imagine how good it would feel killing them the second time around.

***

Outside the Tower, Arella walked purposefully toward the ruined front entrance. Her stomach twisted in knots with every step she took. She felt as though she’d swallowed a hive of angry bees.

Arella grasped the crystal and silver chain in her hand, holding it to her chest right over her heart. There was some solace to be found in the little charm that swirled with a bit of her daughter’s dark energies. It felt like she had a piece of Raven’s soul with her, guiding her… giving her the strength that she felt she’d always been lacking.

Arella blamed herself for what had happened. She was there. She saw it all: she saw the building collapse, saw the Titans get buried alive. Arella saw Trigon send Raven into a wall; she saw Raven pass out and wake up minutes after it was all over. She knew she should have immediately run to her daughter’s side… but she didn’t. He was still there… still watching with those four evil yellow eyes.

The young woman in the brown cloak had watched her daughter awaken, alone in the midst of the destruction. Arella watched her cry out for her friends; it broke her heart. She was there when Raven tried to dig them out of the rubble with her own two hands. She watched as Trigon verbally abused her, provoking her, fueling her own rage.

She was there when Raven let her hatred show, gave Trigon the opening he required to control and destroy her from the inside. Arella watched the whole scene, shaking, hidden in an alley and did nothing.

_I did nothing._

She should have stood by her child. She should have faced him beside Raven, given her the support she so desperately, so obviously needed. Arella should have done something, _anything_ , to let her daughter know she wasn’t alone.

She should have been a mother. Instead she’d been a coward.

_I was frightened. I was frightened to be seen… afraid he would kill me… I was just too weak to face him again._

Somewhere in the back of Arella’s mind, the little green changeling’s words echoed over and over: _Don’t let anyone tell you you’re weak… you’re her mom… you don’t need powers… that_ is _a power._ Maybe so… but would it be enough to stop the evil demon that was trying to take control of, not only her daughter, but the entire dimension as well?

The thing Arella was about to attempt, she knew, could very well end up destroying her. She was afraid. But how long was she going to let the fear control her life? How long was she going to tremble at the very memory of Trigon the Terrible, as justified a reaction as it may be? How long was she going to let him hurt her?

And how long could she live with herself knowing she did nothing to try and stop him… to save her own child?

She was right in front of the twisted door now. Arella took a deep breath.

_Please don’t let it be too late to help them._


	26. Chapter 26

When Raven floated around the corner of her hallway with Starfire still in her grasp Robin was standing there, waiting for her. His chest heaved; in all the years he had been running into and out of danger, he’d never sprinted so far so fast than just then.

They stood on either side of the open door of Raven’s room. Robin’s eyes were on Starfire. If she were able to speak, she would have told him not to do this, to save himself and their friends. As it was, she could not… she’d never felt so cornered. Starfire was trying to be brave, but her eyes revealed everything to him: she was terrified, woefully unhappy, and suffering. All he wanted at that moment was to see her safe, to make all the pain go away.

“ _No tricks,_ ” Raven said to Robin, forcing him to break with Starfire’s eyes and focus instead on the four demonic red ones.

“Same for you,” Robin replied, his voice harsh. “Let her go.”

“ _Give me my mirror,_ ” she demanded, and then noticed he didn’t have it. His hands were empty. “ _Where did you put it?!_ ”

Robin motioned into the room. “In there… on the bed.”

Raven glanced in. He was telling the truth; the mirror was resting quietly atop the covers of her bed.

“You can have yours,” Robin growled, a bad taste in his mouth from acquiescing to this evil thing’s demands. “Now give me mine.”

Raven grinned deviously. “ _I don’t recall making that agreement, Robin._ ” She watched in amusement at his apparent horror, his face first turning pale and then flushing angrily before she went on. “ _But since I’m tired of carrying around your precious little teammate, you can have her… even if only to allow me the opportunity to kill you together so you can watch each other perish._ ” She laughed as Robin clenched his teeth.

“Let. Her. Go.” His voice was very low, rumbling dangerously, as if just controlling his own anger was taking every ounce of his concentration.

Raven had had her fun, but she still knew the moment the alien was safe she’d be open to an attack. The mirror was calling out to be smashed; time was short if she was to trap the two morons for Trigon to take care of. How to keep the pressure on…?

“ _You should know in advance I clipped her wings,_ ” she said to Robin spitefully, and lifted Starfire above her. “ _That said… CATCH._ ”

The red-cloaked girl hurled Starfire over Robin’s head and down the hall before ducking into the room. Still unable to fly, the Tamaranian dove headlong toward the floor. She screamed; she’d never been so afraid of falling, always having the ability to pull up at the last moment. Once you know how to fly, there’s nothing scarier than dropping, seeing the ground rushing up at you, wanting to dash your body in all directions.

Robin ran beneath her as she fell. He leapt and caught her in his arms before she smashed her head on the floor. He skidded to a halt at the end of the hall and looked down at his teammate.

“You all right, Star?” he asked her, shifting his worried gaze from her face to her hand. The finger Raven had snapped was a swollen, very colorful mix of blue and purple.

“I have been better,” she admitted. Starfire looked up at him sadly. “I cannot fly.”

“I saw.” Robin’s face was set and determined. “Can you still fight?”

Starfire’s eyes glowed with green fire; she forgot all about the pain in her hand when she thought of what that evil creature had done to her friends. She couldn’t fly… but flight was only a small portion of her powers.

“Absolutely.”

***

Raven threw Starfire headfirst down the hallway before ducking into the room, knowing full well that Robin wouldn’t follow her before he could ensure the alien girl’s safety. By the time they went after her, the mirror would already be shattered. They’d have no back up, and thereafter would be easy enough to destroy. Then the last source of opposition to Trigon’s rule would be gone. The dimension would fall to them like a house of cards.

She flew toward the mirror, all four eyes regarding it with greed. Raven landed and eagerly snatched it off the bed, turning in one fluid motion to smash it against the edge of the dresser. She brought it down…

And an enormous green palm with fingers the size of sausages caught her wrist, staying her hand before the mirror made contact with the bureau. Raven turned sharply, only to face the big emerald eyes of Beastboy in gorilla form. He drew back his muzzle in a fearsome fanged grin and shook his head. He took the mirror from her with his other hand.

“Don’t you know that’s seven years bad luck?” Raven turned back, suddenly staring down the charged blue core of Cyborg’s sonic cannon. His weapon purred, awaiting his command. “A message from your better half.”

He shot her point blank, and she was sent screaming though the still open window. It made Cyborg very sad that he had to do that, but he knew that one shot from his cannon wasn’t going to hurt her, even if they had caught her off-guard. With that demon inside her, Raven was much too powerful to get taken down so easily. She’d be back. They just had to take the time to regroup… and accept what they needed to do next.

Beastboy changed back into human form. “Okay, _now_ I can see the resemblance. Red is totally not her color.”

Cyborg cast him a weary and downcast look. “This is _not_ the time, man.”

Beastboy sighed. “I know.” _It’s never the time, really…_

He looked at the mirror he still held in his hands. He realized whether or not the mirror was broken now didn’t matter, but for memory’s sake he wanted it to stay whole. The Titans were a team of packrats; they kept souvenirs of everything they had ever been through, no matter how painful. Beastboy thought they needed something for this. A sort of keepsake, a memento… something they could always have to remember their friend by.

His reflection in the mirror’s surface reminded him of a sad clown. He didn’t want to joke around now; he recognized that this wasn’t a time for laughs, but it was the only way he knew of to keep the sadness away. If he could make a joke about it—no matter how feeble the quip might be—maybe it wouldn’t hurt him so much. It was Beastboy’s defense mechanism, and the only method he knew to cover up the pain he was feeling inside right then. Some days he joked and laughed just to keep from crying… this was one of those days.

Robin and Starfire came running into the room as Cyborg put away his cannon. Beastboy wrapped the mirror in some of Raven’s cloaks and slipped it into one of the dresser drawers so it wouldn’t be broken in the battle that was inevitably coming.

“Cyborg! Beastboy!” Starfire bounded happily up to them and gave each a quick hug. “Thank goodness you have returned safely!”

Cyborg and Beastboy gave their teammates a once over, taking in all their cuts and bruises and Starfire’s inflamed and broken hand.

“It was bad while we were gone, wasn’t it?” Cyborg asked, silently wishing he had the ability to be in two places at once.

“We’re alive,” Robin replied rather grimly. “That’s all that matters.”

Starfire looked expectantly around for the person the boys were supposed to bring back with them, and her smile immediately vanished. “Where is our friend Raven?” She looked from one sad face to the other, remembering the demon’s words in the basement. “Please… please do not tell me you were too late.”

Cyborg’s frown deepened. _No… and yes…_ “We weren’t. We found her.”

“Where is she then?” Robin asked.

“She couldn’t leave… couldn’t come back with us,” Beastboy said, and his head drooped unhappily. “She didn’t have enough energy… Trigon took her powers away.”

“And he was too strong to drive out,” Cyborg continued. “Raven wouldn’t even let us try to fight him. She said she’d use the last of her power to keep him trapped until… until we can…” He broke off; once he put it into words, the dye was cast. It was too hard, hurt too much to finish that sentence.

“Until we can what?” Robin pressed, although he saw where this was going. He didn’t know why he wanted it spelled out for him; it’s not like that would make it any easier to accept as true.

“Come on, man. Are you really gonna make me say it?” The grief written on the two boys’ faces told the whole story.

At that moment Robin was glad he wore a mask; he didn’t want his team to see how he was holding back the tears.

“No…” Starfire didn’t bother concealing her sadness; she let it flood down her cheeks in sparkling rivulets without shame.

“There has to be another way,” Robin said, and looked from Cyborg to Beastboy, his face pleading for another answer that he almost knew they didn’t have.

Beastboy shook his head. “She said this is the only solution… or the world is doomed.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Some rotten set of choices, huh?”

Outside, black clouds rolled in over the moon, swirling directly above Titans Tower. Red lightning shot down out of the sky in children’s scribbles, casting a crimson light over the bay so the water resembled a churning sea of blood.

“Raven was okay with this?” Robin asked Cyborg. He didn’t want to accept it, didn’t want to acknowledge the hole that was about to be made in their team. But it didn’t appear they had any choice. They were superheroes; it was their job to protect the world. No matter what. No matter how much they wanted to trade it for the life of their friend, they couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair.

“I honestly don’t think she expected to last for much longer anyway,” Cyborg answered, his expression dour. “I don’t even know if she’s still alive in there now.”

“Then we’ll do as she asked.”

Raven rose up level with the window, arms spread wide commanding the storm as her cloak billowed around her, her four red eyes in flames of fury.

“ _HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU, CHILDREN?!_ ” she roared, the anger and the hatred dripping from each and every word that issued forth from her mouth.

Robin gritted his teeth. “Until you get it right.”

The Titans lined up and readied their weapons and their thoughts. Each made the observation that the day of Raven’s birth would also be the day of her death. It seemed enormously unfair that the only birthday present they were going to give her was oblivion.

The possessed girl floated through the open window, dark energy radiating from clenched fists as she regarded them. “ _Four against one?_ ” She smiled a frightening smile. “ _The odds are not in your favor._ ”

“We’ll see about that,” Beastboy growled.

“Alright, guys… let’s get this over with,” Robin said, and readied his staff. “Ready?”

No, they weren’t. How can a person ever be ready to kill someone they love, even if it means saving the rest of the world? Of course they weren’t ready… but that never stopped them before.

Starfire’s eyes slowly brightened with green light as anger overcame her sadness. “For Raven.”

“TITANS, GO!”

Both sides charged…

Every soul in and around Jump City could hear the clash of the Titans in their Tower across the bay.

One soul in particular.

***

The sound of Arella’s footsteps echoed eerily in the devastated front hall. She sidestepped an overturned chair and took in the marks her possessed daughter had left on the walls and the ceiling. Nothing there had escaped her anger.

Arella couldn’t help but wonder how she would fare.

_Be strong, Arella… for once in your life, have faith…_

Outside red lightning lit up the sky, black with storm clouds. Thunder crashed loudly overhead. The woman pulled her cloak closer around her, still grasping the blessed crystal to her chest.

All of a sudden a loud boom resonated from upstairs. It shook the Tower to its very core… and Arella’s, as well.

She bounded up the stairs two at a time.


	27. Chapter 27

The Titans gave it everything that they had. But from the very beginning, they could see that Raven had been right: even all four of them against her didn’t seem to be enough to bring her down. While she was possessed by that evil monster, she was damn near invincible.

Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire stood together and blasted her with their own special weapons or abilities, which Raven easily blocked with a black shield. Each green or blue or white explosion flashed and was absorbed, engulfed by the impenetrable shadow that surrounded her. It seemed nothing they had could pierce her armor.

Raven dropped the dark force field at the soonest break in fire, and mentally reached out to tear Cyborg’s cannon arm away from his body. She clubbed him in the head with it while she telekinetically knocked the heavy two-headed bust over on top of Robin. It knocked the wind out of him… and cracked at least two of his ribs. Starfire was at his side almost instantly, lifting it off of him.

Beastboy had stayed beneath the fray as a mouse, waiting for the opportunity to strike. The shield dropped and he saw his opening. He leapt up onto Raven’s boot while she was busy attacking the others, and he shifted forms to become a rather large python. Beastboy coiled tightly around her, pinning her arms to her sides. He tried to squeeze the air from her lungs, tried to cut off her breathing. He didn’t know if he had the wherewithal to really follow through with his plan, but it didn’t matter. When he contracted all the muscles in his long body, it was like he was trying to constrict a marble statue.

Raven shot him a poisonous look as she pried her arms from his coils. “ _Miserable little green worm…_ ”

Her hand shot out and gripped right behind Beastboy’s snake head, faster even than he could follow. He thrashed around, changing his form to become human again so he had arms with which to try and tear Raven’s grasp away. He wasn’t hanging there for very long before Starfire pulled Raven down by her legs and they both came crashing to the floor.

Beastboy rolled out of the way as Starfire pounced the possessed Titan, but Raven saw her coming. She grabbed the Tamaranian girl’s arms and planted her boots in her gut; with a grunt, she kicked up and launched Starfire clear over the bed… and out the open window.

“Starfire!” Robin cried. He turned to Cyborg, who had retrieved and reattached his arm by this time. “She can’t fly!”

Cyborg was at the window in two steps, no questions asked, and launched his hand down toward the plummeting Starfire. It was close, but she managed to catch hold of the mechanical appendage before she hit the rocks. Cyborg reeled his hand and his teammate back in as quickly as his circuits could go.

Robin, meanwhile, had become engaged in hand-to-hand combat with Raven. She easily blocked his punches with small dark energy forms. He brought his bow staff out and rushed her, trying to bring it down over her head. Raven caught it in her hands and cackled as she bent it up almost at a right angle. Robin pushed off and shifted directions quickly, taking a low slice to her legs. She jumped his staff and kicked it out of his hands, back out into the hallway.

Robin tried to land a spin kick to her stomach, but she caught his leg. A quick twist sent him to the floor and Raven punched him hard in his vulnerable side, taking advantage of his broken ribs. She was in the air again before he could recover and counterattack.

Beastboy dove down from overhead in hawk form and pulled Raven’s hood further down over her eyes, momentarily blinding her. Cyborg and Starfire stood at the ready by the window, and fired at her the moment Beastboy had flown away. The room was a fury of green and blue flashes and lasers for a long thirty seconds. But when the smoke cleared, Raven was floating unharmed in a protective black sphere.

“ _This is getting very old, very quickly,_ ” she said to them, dark energy swirling around her, taking loose pieces of parchment and broken pieces of ceiling with it. “ _It’s time we end this._ ”

She sent the shadow that was around her exploding outward, the resulting pieces almost taking on a life of their own. They flew like black demons around each of the Titans and drew them together against the wall. A blackened beam shot from Raven’s left hand, merging the separate dark forms together again. She lifted the Titans from the floor and squeezed them together mercilessly, clenching her fist as though the black energy was an extension of it. She watched them writhe and wriggle, trying to break free of her powers and unable to. It made her smile.

“ _What did I say, little alien?_ ” Raven asked Starfire rhetorically. “ _Bravery only gets you killed?_ ” She summoned a black blade with her other hand… the purpose of which was horrifyingly obvious to the Titans. “ _I rest my case._ ” The blade swung high overhead.

The heroes cringed. This was it. They’d lost Raven, failed to destroy her evil self or Trigon, and now their universe was done for. And they wouldn’t even get the chance to see it firsthand.

But the blade wavered, albeit ever so slightly. There was hesitation in the four red eyes. That split second of uncertainty was all that was needed to change the course of fate.

Behind Raven a dark blast of energy collided with her back and exploded. The black blade dissolved, although she still somehow maintained her grip on the Titans.

The four blazing red eyes whirled angrily toward the source of the attack to find Arella standing in the doorway.

“Leave them alone.”

***

_No turning back now…_

Arella honestly had no idea how she did what she had just done. She didn’t know how she managed to release the dark energy from the crystal she still held, nor how she had controlled it long enough to do anything even remotely constructive with it. It didn’t matter; the pendant was empty now. Just as well. Arella didn’t think she could accomplish that same feat again. It was time to try for a different miracle.

“ _YOU._ ” Raven’s voice was accusatory, as if she couldn’t believe Arella had the gall to dare show her face, never mind attempt to stop her. To hell with the Titans, but later… right now, her rage had found a new target.

Raven still kept hold of them, dark powers steadily being released from her one hand as the other drew Arella toward it. She didn’t resist its pull.

“Arella!” Robin cried out to her. “What are you doing?!”

_Something I should have done a long time ago._

Raven took hold of her mother’s neck in her hand, digging her nails into her skin and lifting her from the ground. Arella’s throat burned from the contact between them, as though Raven’s hand itself were on fire. Still, breathing was not a chore for her. She wasn’t being suffocated, only suspended… even if that particular position was quite uncomfortable.

Arella stared almost defiantly into the four blazing red eyes and tried to ignore the pain. Inside she was torn; it took every ounce of her willpower not to quiver with the fear she was feeling at that moment.

“ _I thought you would have run back to Azarath with your tail between your legs by now,_ ” Raven said to her nastily. “ _Don’t tell me that maternal instinct has actually decided to kick in._ ”

“That’s enough, Trigon,” Arella said, sounding much braver than she felt speaking to him with such impertinence in her voice. “Show yourself.”

Raven gave her an annoyed look. “ _You think he would lower himself to speak to filth like…?_ ”

“Stop hiding behind her rage!” Arella cried, provoking him. As much as she didn’t want to see him again, she knew that was what she needed to do. “I know you’re the one pulling the strings, feeding her hatred. Face me!”

The four red eyes flashed angrily. “ _How dare you, you stupid spineless…_ ”

“COWARD!”

Raven threw her head back and let loose a deafening roar, her voice growing deeper and deeper, becoming more and more the voice of Trigon the Terrible, as the air surrounding her shimmered with a blood-red glow. It gathered together around Raven’s rather small body, towering overhead. Projected like a hologram around Arella’s daughter was the form of the demon that was controlling and destroying her. Arella had to tilt her head up to face him. His four yellow eyes bore down upon her, as if the life of an insect had more meaning to him than hers did.

Trigon’s energies were still connected to Raven’s; when he spoke, her mouth moved with his words as though passing through her, as though she was channeling his essence. Now it was Trigon squeezing Arella’s neck, digging his claws into her flesh; Trigon was holding the Titans immobilized. It was an eerie scene for them to watch as they still tried with all their might to break free and help her.

“ _FINALLY GROWN A BACKBONE, MY WIFE?_ ” his voice boomed. “ _HOW TERRIBLY AMUSING._ ” When he spoke Arella felt her insides freeze and her stomach lurch painfully. She felt her resolve begin to diminish the moment he addressed her.

_What made me think I could fight him?_

“I couldn’t let you do this to her,” she said quietly. “I couldn’t hide while you destroyed her spirit.”

“ _YOU CAME BACK TO STOP ME._ ” He snickered scathingly. “ _HOW VERY NOBLE OF YOU. AND HOW FATALLY IDIOTIC._ ”

It took Beastboy nearly a dozen different forms before he managed to wriggle free from the dark energy that was holding his teammates against the wall. Once he dropped to the floor he immediately became a tiger and started chewing on the black energy ring, trying to tear it apart and release the others.

“Do not worry about us,” Starfire said to him.

“Yeah, man,” Cyborg grunted. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“Go help Arella,” Robin ordered.

Beastboy stopped what he was doing and abruptly changed forms again to become a big horn ram. He charged straight at the figure that was surrounding Raven… only to be stopped dead some few feet away. An invisible force shocked him, and with a loud _bzzt!_ zapped him back against the wall. Beastboy slumped to the floor and became human. He rubbed his aching head.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say I think it’s a ‘Family-Only’ discussion.”

***

Arella was aware that the little changeling had tried to help her and had been blocked by some force unseen by her eyes. She was cut off from what little aid they may have been able to give her. She’d have to finish what she started by herself.

“Trying to save my child does not make me an idiot, Trigon,” she said to him, her voice still surprisingly steady. “It makes me a mother. I want my daughter back.”

“ _RAVEN DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU, ARELLA. AS ALWAYS YOU FAIL TO GRASP THIS SIMPLE CONCEPT: SHE IS_ MINE _. SHE IS MY OFFSPRING. BODY AND SOUL BELONG TO ME, AND ALWAYS WILL._ ”

“You care nothing for her but the power she embodies and how it can serve your own greedy ends!” Arella cried. “She is not your possession, and I will not let you claim her as yours! Raven wants nothing to do with you!”

“ _ONLY CERTAIN STUBBORN PORTIONS OF HER,_ ” Trigon replied, grinning viciously. “ _AND THEY WILL BE GONE IN A MATTER OF MINUTES NOW._ ”

_Raven…_ Arella felt as though she had been punched in the gut. Her fingers closed ever tighter around the stone in her hand. _I’m running out of time. Show me my opening…_

“ _I’M CURIOUS, ARELLA,_ ” Trigon continued, cocking his head to the side in a mildly amused sort of way. Raven mimicked his motions, like a person who was following the movements of her own shadow instead of the other way around. “ _OF ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE, YOU ARE BY FAR THE WEAKEST. YOU HAVE NO POWER TO SPEAK OF; YOU POSE NO THREAT WHATSOEVER TO ME, AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BARTER. YOU HAVE NOTHING I WANT; EVERYTHING I EVER DESIRED FROM YOU I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN._ ”

Those words cut Arella so deep she was certain she would split apart, each designed to dredge up the most unbearable and embarrassing of memories, a past she never stopped running from, events that had lead directly to this very moment in time. She was reaching her own breaking point; a single tear fell down her cheek, despite every effort she made to keep it back.

_Stop it, Arella… don’t let him do this to you again…_

Trigon went on, reveling in her obvious distress. “ _THERE IS NOT A SINGLE THING OF VALUE IN YOUR ENTIRE BEING. SO DO TELL: HOW EXACTLY DID YOU PLAN TO DEFEAT ME?_ ”

She glared at him with every bit of sheer disrespect she could muster. “You _wish_ I was that stupid, Trigon. Surprise… I’m not.”

“ _THIS IS A BLUFF WITH NO END OR PURPOSE._ ” He barked out a harsh laugh. “ _YOU ARE A FOOL, ARELLA! YOU ARE A FOOL TO CHALLENGE ME WITHOUT ANY POWER OF YOUR OWN._ ”

She stole a glance at the Titans and took a deep breath. “I _do_ have power… a power which you will never understand, will never yourself possess in all your insatiable fury.”

“ _OH, REALLY? AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?_ ”

“Love.”

Trigon laughed at her so hard and so loud that the citizens of Jump City probably heard it. Arella felt very small, his mocking laughter biting through the defenses she had built to protect herself inside. Still, somehow she found the nerve to stand her ground. She found her voice once more.

“You laugh… I knew you would. You condemn love as a fault, Trigon… you condemn friendship for its close association… but it’s the only thing tonight that has saved these children from your wrath.”

Arella watched his expression become even more fearsome; she took heart and her words picked up momentum and intensity.

“They protect one another, fight for one another… they will _die_ for one another. That is not weakness… it is that friendship they have that has kept them from falling at your hand. Love is not a weakness, Trigon… it is a strength… a strength that I too possess. And it is more powerful than all your hate and rage.”

The burning hand around her neck squeezed so hard that her breath was sharply stolen away and the jagged claws dug in deep enough to draw trickles of blood.

“ _I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY, YOU MISERABLE WITCH!_ ” Trigon bellowed. “ _THEN WE’LL SEE JUST HOW STRONG YOUR RIDICULOUS LOVE IS!_ ”

A tingle ran through Arella’s person; she felt the marrow in her skeleton quivering. It seemed Trigon would make good that threat… and swiftly.

_You knew this was a gamble._ She prepared herself for the onset of intense physical hurt she knew was coming…

All at once the vibrations stopped; Arella no longer felt her insides quaking apart, ready to shatter her frame into pieces. As she watched, the red glow melted, Trigon’s figure literally dripping from around her daughter as the four red eyes continued to stare straight at her. Raven began to shake violently; her face twitched and nothing held still.

“Arella, what’s happening?!” Beastboy demanded from just outside the force field that had halted him so abruptly before. He saw the black beam that was still holding the Titans against the wall waver and ripple, almost on the verge of breaking up… but not quite.

Raven’s face twisted up, her four red eyes closing tight… and merging together again. When they opened Arella was staring into the two big beautiful purple eyes she saw the day her daughter was born.

“Raven…”

Arella reached up to take hold of the hand around her neck, comforting physical contact on the fingers that kept jerking spastically, trying with every fiber of their being to tear themselves away. If Raven could have broken her own hand to free Arella, she would have. It was plain to see that she was still fighting, both against Trigon and herself… but she wasn’t winning.

“Mother… please…” Raven’s voice was her own, although it quavered and broke up, requiring more effort to form the words than she could spare. “I can’t fight him anymore…”

_She called me ‘mother’…_

“You can rise above this, Raven… don’t give up…”

The Titans echoed her in a barrage of encouraging sentences, their supportive words running into and over each other. They couldn’t do much for Raven, but they could do that. They could still let her know they were always behind her.

“I have nothing left… please…” Her gaze fell on Beastboy, who stood staring at the scene, unable to move. “Beastboy… now’s your chance…”

Arella turned to him. “No! You mustn’t… it will solve nothing, believe me!”

Raven’s eyes pled louder than her words. “Please, just do it… just make it stop…”

_Why am_ I _always the one they ask?_ Beastboy looked from Raven to Arella and back again. He hung his head. “Raven… I can’t.”

“Please,” she begged. “You have to… you’ll never get an easier shot…”

He shook his head. “It was much easier before, believe me.”

Arella gave Raven’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Raven, you have to listen… I know you’re hurting… but you can’t sacrifice yourself. You can’t… that’s not the way to beat him.”

“I’m not strong enough…” she whispered. “And I’d rather be dead… than be just like him.”

The tics were getting worse; Raven couldn’t hold control for very much longer, and she knew it. If somebody didn’t do _something_ soon, she would lose every person that had ever meant anything to her… and she’d die knowing she was the cause of it all.

Raven shook her head hard as if that would dispel the demons inside it. “I can’t last… after this, I’m done… please… just let it be over for me.”

“No.”

When Raven looked into her mother’s eyes again, she was surprised by the firm determination she saw there. “Why?”

Arella smiled, grim though it was. “Because once a long time ago, you wouldn’t let it be over for me, either.” _When you cried, I stepped away from the edge…_

Raven yelped. Her eyes shut tight and her face scrunched up in pain. She could feel her grasp slipping, but she had no strength left to resist it.

“What can I do?” she asked, half-hysterical. “I have nothing more to give…”

“Then let go.” Arella gave Raven’s hand one final reassuring squeeze.

Raven shook her head hard, frustrated. “I don’t understand…”

“There’s no time, dear,” Arella said softly. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

Raven took one last look at her friends. They looked so miserable; it aggravated her to no end that despite all her efforts she still couldn’t save them from herself.

She gazed despondently up at her mother. “What if…?”

“Have faith, Raven,” Arella said soothingly. “We won’t ever leave you in the darkness alone… that I swear.”

That was the last exchange of words between them before Raven released her hard won grip. Her Rage snapped back to full force again as she sank down ever deeper into the shadows within her…


	28. Chapter 28

The steel grip around Arella’s neck returned, as did the image of Trigon the Terrible behind his four-eyed daughter. His form looked even more solid than before, and he laughed maniacally at her.

“ _IT IS OVER!_ ” he exulted.

Indeed, that was how it appeared. But the energy flowing from Raven’s hand wasn’t black anymore… it was flaming dark yellow. Her body was directly channeling Trigon’s powers while he remained a part of her. Arella saw the change in them… and smiled.

_At last…_

“Not quite,” Arella said to him with a sly, knowing expression. It was really quite remarkable how the fear vanished once she knew she had the upper hand.

“ _Brainless, stupid woman!_ ” the demon bellowed, baring his fangs at her like the animal he was. “ _In what reality did you ever think you could defeat me?!_ ”

“I know I can’t defeat you, Trigon…” Arella said to him calmly, and readied her aching arm for one last exploit. “I can only ever hope to contain you.”

She didn’t give him a chance to respond before she thrust her hand… and the blessed crystal she held… in the way of the streaming energy. Arella clasped her daughter’s hand fast before it was forced away, entwining their fingers together and sandwiching the pendant between their palms. She was committed now… now and always.

“ _NOOOOOOO!_ ” Trigon sounded as surprised as he was enraged.

Just as before, the charm fulfilled its purpose, its _only_ purpose: to drain and harness energy. Which, at the moment was all that Trigon was. It siphoned away the form that held the Titans to the wall and they dropped at last back to the floor. They watched with bated breath the scene taking place before them, unable to help and afraid to be in the way.

“Leave this body, Trigon!” Arella shouted over the clamor that was picking up around them. “You are going back where you came from!”

Trigon tried to use the last bit of control he had over Raven to push Arella away, but she threw her arm around Raven’s shoulders and held her tight. She embraced her daughter as Trigon was consumed, shut away in the powerful little gem by the only thing that could accomplish the deed.

Trigon was the epitome of evil and hatred; how could he ever have known? The only thing that can combat a father’s will is a mother’s love.

“ _Arella!_ ” Trigon screamed in sheer fury. “ _You should know better than to wound what you cannot kill! You have only delayed the inevitable! Mark my words: you will regret this day! I will not rest until I reclaim what is mine!_ ”

“JUST GET OUT! _NOW!_ ”

Raven screamed as Trigon withdrew from her body and her mind. The four red eyes merged back into two as her teeth and nails blunted back to normal. A dark shade of blue bled like ink over the red of her cloak. When it was finally over, Arella threw the stone across the room; Raven fell silent and limp in her mother’s arms.

“Raven?” Arella shook her gently as they floated to rest back on the floor. She sat with Raven’s head in her lap as the Titans stood around them. Her daughter’s eyes were closed.

Robin touched Arella’s shoulder. “She’s not… is she?”

The woman didn’t answer him right away. She didn’t know. Arella tucked a stray lock of Raven’s hair behind her ear and traced the gem on her forehead with her finger.

“Come on, Raven…” she whispered. “Come back to us… we’re still here, waiting for you…”

A few very, very long, very, very tense seconds ticked by before the young girl began to stir. Raven’s eyes slowly blinked open to the anxious and thankful faces of her mother and friends.

“Welcome back, Raven,” Robin said to her.

“Yes, dear friend,” Starfire added. “We missed you so. You had us all quite worried.”

“Yeah, Rae. What did I tell you about scaring me like that?” Cyborg tried to give her a reproachful look, but his voice betrayed his relief.

The first thing Raven asked: “Is everyone okay?”

Arella nodded. “Yes.”

“I didn’t hurt anyone? It’s over?”

“Dude, it is _so_ over. Your mom kicked butt.” Beastboy’s playful grin was back where it belonged, although a few wrinkles of worry still adorned his forehead.

Arella smiled. “I had a lot of help.” She turned back to her daughter’s weary face. “I’m sorry, Raven… I have to take your gift back.”

Raven glanced at where the necklace lay by the wall. It was no longer clear, but a solid crimson red, filled to capacity with the thing that was trapped inside it. She shuddered in spite of herself, though her voice remained devoid of feeling. “That’s fine… saves me the trouble of asking for the receipt.”

A short, terse chuckle emanated from the ragged little group. It had been one of the longest days of their young lives. There was no hiding their fatigue, though they tried their hardest to conceal their injuries from Raven.

But she had already caught sight of Starfire’s swollen hand. The Tamaranian girl saw her staring and quickly tucked her arm behind her back.

“It is nothing…” Starfire tried to assure her, but it was too late. Raven had already retrieved that memory; she did that to her friend, and at the time she enjoyed it. How could she excuse or forgive herself for that?

Raven tried to sit up and reached out her hand. “Starfire… I’m so sorry…”

Arella gently, but firmly pushed her hand back down. “No, Raven… you can’t heal anybody like this. You need to rest.” She gave her daughter a consoling smile. “Don’t worry… I will take care of your friends.”

Raven settled back and looked at the Tamaranian girl again. “Come here, Star,” she said. “At least let me give back what I took from you. Please.”

Starfire hesitated for a moment until Robin gave her a nudge forward. She knelt beside Raven and lightly took her hand.

“Azarath metrion zinthos…” A golden glow passed between their palms and when Raven’s hand fell away, Starfire floated off the ground.

“Eeeee!” She shot up in the air happily. “I can fly again!” The alien landed back on the ground and smiled gratefully at her friend. “Thank you, my friend.”

Raven didn’t say anything to that. It was getting more and more difficult to keep her eyes open.

“I am so tired…” she said wearily.

“Rest now, dear,” Arella said to her. “You should know… I won’t be here when you wake up.” Raven forced her eyes open for one last look at her mother. “I don’t know how long that little amulet’s magic is going to last.”

“What will you do with him?”

“Find some help, I think… banish him to the Netherverse.”

Raven nodded slightly. “Wonder how long that will last…”

“I’ll guard the gateway,” Arella assured her. “He’s going to have to try some new tricks if he’s going to get out again.”

_I’m sure he’s angry enough to take that challenge._ “Mother?”

_I love that word._ “Yes?”

“Next time you decide to visit, please make it a more pleasant one.”

Arella smiled. “Of course.”

Raven sighed and closed her eyes. “I’m going to go ahead and pass out now,” she murmured, exhausted beyond all logical definitions of the word.

Arella laughed softly. “Goodnight, Raven. And happy birthday.”

The Titans each gave their own wishes for ‘pleasant dreams’ and a ‘happy birthday,’ but they couldn’t be sure if Raven heard any of them. She was asleep in a matter of seconds.

***

Robin helped Arella tuck Raven into bed while the other Titans straightened up as much as they could. Her mother assured them that Raven just needed some time to rest and heal herself. They all agreed that it would be better if she woke up in her own room rather than the infirmary.

“Although, technically, that’s where most of us should probably be right now,” Robin said, his eyes moving from Starfire’s hand to Arella’s clawed up neck. He himself was trying very hard not to jostle his own broken ribs.

“Our injuries are minor,” Starfire said optimistically as she lifted the marble bust back into place with her one good hand. “We can be thankful they are not any worse.”

Arella smiled. “Give me your hand, dear,” she said. Starfire instinctively offered the one that was uninjured, which Arella refused. “The broken one. Let me see.”

The alien girl hesitated. She said the damage was minor, but that wasn’t to say it didn’t still hurt quite a lot.

“Come now, I don’t bite,” Arella insisted. “I did say I would take care of you, after all. It’s the least I can do.”

Starfire held out her swollen hand to her cautiously. Arella pressed it gently between her palms and concentrated. A soft glow emanated from the spaces and when Arella let go, there was noticeable improvement. The swelling had gone down almost completely; the dark bruise had lightened back to a comparable shade of normal Tamaranian skin tone. Starfire clenched and unclenched her hand experimentally; indeed, there was practically no pain there now. She thanked Raven’s mother with a big hug.

Arella mended Robin’s ribs the same way and finally her own wounds on her neck.

Beastboy wagged his finger at her, scolding playfully. “You said you had no powers, you fibber.”

Arella smiled. “You didn’t think Raven’s healing abilities came from Trigon, did you?” From the look on his face, she could see he honestly didn’t think of it. “No… that she learned from her teachers… and then me. Although I will admit, she is much more skilled than I am.”

Beastboy slid the window shut and regarded the blood-red pendant at his feet. He bent down to pick it up, giving serious consideration to smashing it into sand.

“I wouldn’t touch that,” Arella warned, coming up behind him. “Not unless you want what got into her getting into you.”

Beastboy straightened up immediately. “Pass.”

Arella laughed quietly. She picked the little necklace up by its chain and placed it carefully back in the little box she had brought it in. It disappeared back into the folds of her cloak as she turned to regard her daughter’s friends.

“I want to thank you all for everything you’ve done tonight,” she said to them.

“Credit where it’s due,” Cyborg replied.

“Yeah,” Beastboy added. “You’re the one that did the saving, not us.”

Arella shook her head. “If it weren’t for you, I doubt there would have been anything left to save.”

“Might we continue this conversation downstairs?” Starfire suggested, ushering them all toward the door from the air. “It is rather rude of us to be so loud about such unhappy things when our friend is in need of rest.”

“Star’s right,” Robin agreed. “Come on, guys.” He turned to Arella as they continued out the door and down the hall. “Can we give you something to eat before you go? Coffee? Herbal tea?”

“Cake?” Beastboy chimed in with a hopeful expression.

“Sorry, Beastboy,” Robin said to him, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “Your cake didn’t survive the battle.”

Beastboy’s face fell. Cyborg gave a discreet “Yes!” under his breath.

“Indeed,” Starfire added from above them. “Our party is quite ruined. Even our presents are gone.” That particular thought made her sad; Raven wouldn’t receive anything from any of her friends for her birthday now. Whoever heard of such a thing?

“Man, this stinks!” Beastboy fumed as they all entered the decimated living room. “Raven’s birthday is over, the gifts are goo, we all almost bit the dust and witnessed the end of the world, the next however long is gonna be spent cleaning up this mess, AND I STILL DON’T GET TO EAT MY CAKE! IT’S NOT FAIR!”

“Not much we can do about the cake or the cleaning,” Cyborg said, taking a look around at all the appliances he was going to have to either rebuild or repair. “But I think we can do something about the gift problem. That is, if Arella will lend a hand before heading out.”

“Of course I will,” she said immediately.

“Okay… so, here’s the idea…”


	29. Chapter 29

_Happy birthday, Raven…_

_I’m so sorry… I never wanted this…_

_I’d be lost without them…_

_Make it stop… please, make it stop…_

_My fault… all my fault…_

_They made me feel wanted! They gave me purpose, and now they’re dead!_

_IT’S FUTILE TO DENY YOUR DESTINY… STOP FIGHTING ME…_

_This is going to be so much fun…_

_So lost without friends… it’s absolutely pathetic…_

_Sometimes you gotta go back to go forward…_

_Don’t worry about it…there’s nothing that can’t be fixed._

_That’s so cute…I think I might just gag._

_Don’t be so dramatic… it never solves anything._

_I don’t know what to do… I feel so lost…_

_Hate takes up too much space…_

_I’m so sorry…_

_Everyone needs love… to love and to be loved… there are so many different kinds of love…_

_I tried to be careful… I tried so hard…_

_I don’t want to lose you again… I don’t want to be alone…_

_You didn’t kill us… just look, please!_

_Lies…_

_I wanted to be good… I never wanted to hurt you…_

_You can’t do this on your own…_

_I should be able to…_

_Accepting help doesn’t make you weak…_

_Have faith…_

_Don’t think for a moment you’re fooling anyone but yourself… you know as well as I do that you just don’t have it in you to kill her._

_I cannot fathom hating any portion of myself so much… I should despise you… but I just feel sorry for you._

_You know NOTHING!_

_I am Darkness, I am Hate, I am Rage._

_I want to torture and I want to kill and I want everything that she ever held dear thoroughly destroyed…_

_THAT’S WHAT I AM._

_I will get what I want…_

_I am so sorry…_

_You should have destroyed me when you had the chance…_

_You refuse to be ruthless… your emotions make you weak…_

_Don’t ever scare me like that again._

_But I still don’t want you getting hurt because of the things that I never said._

_You’re messing with things you don’t understand._

_I AM THE DAUGHTER OF TRIGON THE TERRIBLE…_

_It won’t be the same without you._

_Have faith…_

_You’ve lost… your life and the lives of your little team are forfeit…_

_If you don’t give me what I want I will snap her neck._

_A message from your better half._

_HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!_

_Miserable little green worm…_

_Love is not a weakness… it is more powerful than all your hate and rage…_

_You’ve done more than you’ll ever know…_

_I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY! THEN WE’LL SEE JUST HOW STRONG YOUR RIDICULOUS LOVE IS!_

_I have nothing left… please…_

_Please… just make it stop…_

_I’m not strong enough… I’d rather be dead… than be just like him…_

_Please… just let it be over for me…_

_Once a long time ago, you wouldn’t let it be over for me, either…_

_I have nothing more to give…_

_I am so sorry…_

_Have faith…_

_We won’t ever leave you in the darkness alone…_

_I can’t defeat you… I can only ever hope to contain you…_

_You should know better than to wound what you cannot kill!_

_You are going back where you came from!_

_I will not rest until I reclaim what is mine!_

_I am so sorry…_

_It’s so dark in me… don’t leave… I don’t want to be alone…_

_I HATE YOU!_

_I know…_

***

Raven awoke quietly in the middle of the night two days later to a horrible headache and a heart heavy with the recently imparted memories her Rage had let her see, purely out of spite. She sat up slowly as her eyes adjusted, taking in her surroundings and rubbing her temple. She wasn’t in the infirmary like she expected, but her room. It barely showed any signs of the epic battle that had gone down there, something she’d have to remember to thank her friends for later.

The door was left wide open, and Raven could see two figures asleep against the far wall. One was unmistakably the figure of Starfire, the other Beastboy, a green mutt with his head resting on her lap.

_I almost kill them…numerous times… and they fall asleep outside my room._ It took every bit of her willpower to quell the sorrow rising up in her throat.

It was over, but at the same time Raven knew this was really only the beginning. Now they knew everything: what she was, where she’d come from… the darkness that existed inside her. That blackness that would never truly be gone… that mark of evil she’d always carried—and would always carry—all the days of her life.

_This will happen again. And next time they might not be so lucky._

All the memories served to justify what Raven always feared was true: deep down inside, she was pure darkness. It didn’t matter how much good she tried to do, how careful she was about controlling her powers. She remained a danger to the very people she cared most about. If they got any closer to her, she would end up destroying them. And she just couldn’t let that happen.

Without making a single noise, Raven got out of bed and padded stealthily to the door. Silently—so silent even Beastboy couldn’t hear her—she closed the door and locked it.

Raven threw her cloak around her shoulders and went to the window. Before she did anything else, she needed to meditate. She needed to sink into that sweet, silent, peaceful nothingness, let it envelope and unify her aching mind and spirit.

There was a lot to do once she was done.


	30. Chapter 30

Next morning, as usual, everything was once again in chaos.

_THUNK THUNK THUNK!_ “Come on, Raven! Open the door! We just wanna make sure you’re okay! Please?!” Beastboy pounded the polished steel door until his fists were sore, but no matter how much noise he made there was no response from the other side.

He glanced down the hall to see that Starfire had returned with Robin and Cyborg. _Yay for reinforcements._ That was somewhat heartening; now someone _else_ could pound on the stupid door.

“What is going on?” Robin demanded.

“Dude, me and Star woke up this morning and the door was all closed,” Beastboy told him, and kicked the door to emphasize how annoyed he was about that. “We tried to open it again, but Raven _locked_ it and she won’t talk to us or anything and I hurt myself pounding on the stupid door.” Beastboy crossed his arms, pouting.

Robin pushed him aside and knocked calmly on the door. “Raven? Are you okay in there?”

No answer.

“You are still _alive_ , right?”

“You aren’t funny. Go away.”

“And we have contact,” Cyborg joked.

“Normally, Raven, I would do just that,” Robin went on, leaning against the wall. “But really, taking into account everything that happened and the fact that you’ve been unconscious for two days, I’m just going to have to accept however mad I’m going to make you by invading your privacy. We’re having a talk. Now. This door will open one way or another, whether you like it or not because hiding from us isn’t fair to anyone and you know it.”

There was silence for a few moments, and then an almost inaudible _click_ from the high-tech deadbolt. The door was unlocked now, though it was up to them to open it.

Cyborg manually slid the door aside to reveal Raven’s room. It was in a state of somewhat organized confusion; the drawers of her dresser were open and empty, and her bookshelf was completely barren. All the books and scrolls that had been there were in neat piles around Raven on the floor. She knelt with her back to them, her big trunk in front of her. She was carefully placing her books in the chest; already it was half full.

The Titans entered cautiously; this was certainly the last thing they ever expected to see.

Beastboy was the first to get his tongue untied. “Let me guess… you’re redecorating again?”

Raven didn’t answer, nor did she stop what she was doing. She spent every bit of concentration on not looking at them.

“Rae, what are you doing?” Cyborg asked gently.

“Packing,” she replied simply.

“Where are you going?” Starfire’s voice sounded on the verge of crying.

Raven stopped and took a deep breath to calm down. This was harder than she thought it would be. “I’ll know when I get there.”

Robin knelt on the floor beside her and handed her a book. She accepted it from him, still focused on not looking at his face. “You don’t have to leave, you know. Actually, we’d all kind of prefer if you didn’t.”

“I’m too dangerous.” Raven put another book in the trunk. “I can’t trust myself not to hurt you again.”

“I do.”

“As do I,” Starfire added.

“Ditto for me and Cyborg,” Beastboy said.

Raven sat back on her legs and closed her eyes. _Do not cry…_

“I almost killed you,” she said, each word so heavy it felt like a ton of bricks on her tongue. “And I almost brought about the apocalypse.”

“You had a bad day. It happens to the best of us.” Cyborg always was a master of understatement.

“Really, Raven,” Robin added. “We’ve all messed up at one time or another. None of us has a right to be casting stones.”

Raven put up her hood and stood; still she wouldn’t face them. “This will only happen again. He’ll never stop. And you saw for yourself the… the darkness inside me.”

“But, truly, it required a great deal of power to control you as it did,” Starfire said helpfully. “Without the evil Trigon supplying it, how will it ever have the ability to show itself again?”

“There’s always another way,” Raven answered. “And it’s always going to be part of me… always waiting to rear up again.”

Robin pressed his luck and put a hand on her shoulder. She tensed at his touch, but she didn’t push it away. “We all have our demons, Raven.”

“Yeah,” Beastboy agreed. “Just because yours happens to resemble a certain Biblical figure doesn’t make you special. Ow!”

Cyborg smacked him upside the head.

Raven shook off Robin’s hand. “You can’t want me as a friend after what I put you through.”

“Oh, after that?” Robin asked rhetorically. “No way are we friends.”

The words hit Raven in the gut like someone fired a cannon at her. _No… no, that’s good… that will make this easier. Turn around; see their faces… and then walking away won’t be so hard…_

The second she saw their faces she knew she’d been tricked. They were smiling sly smiles, like they knew something that she didn’t. When they spoke again it was like they were reciting a poem.

Robin began. “We live together, fight together…”

Then Cyborg. “Eat together, do laundry together…”

Then Beastboy. “Sleep under the same roof…”

Then Starfire. “We engage in the leisure time activities together…”

Then Beastboy again. “Dude… we all share the same bathroom.”

Then Robin. “That’s not friendship.”

Then Cyborg. “That’s more than friendship.”

Then all of them together. “That’s family.”

It was times like these when Raven wished she could laugh and cry at the same time. As always, she did neither. She gave an aggravated groan and sat on the edge of the open chest. “Did you rehearse that or what?”

“Just a little,” Cyborg admitted. “But we still meant every word of it.”

Raven shook her head. “You are all unbelievable.”

“Very,” Beastboy agreed. “But this you _can_ believe.” Starfire presented Raven with a messily wrapped gift. “As your family, we can’t in good conscience let your birthday pass unless you get something to show for it.”

Raven cast him a slightly annoyed glance and turned the gift over in her hands. “What? My life and the continued existence of this planet weren’t enough?”

Beastboy raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms. “I meant something material, and you know it.”

Cyborg gave Raven a little nudge. “Go on… open it.”

_Oh… why not?_ After everything that had happened, Raven honestly didn’t think there were any surprises _left_ that they could spring on her. The gift felt like a book at first, but when the last scrap of paper fell away she felt foolish that she thought this could possibly be so simple.

What she held in her hands wasn’t a book, but a frame. It was heavy, dark, and metallic, with a few very simple, tasteful golden decorations around the border and beneath the glass was a picture.

It was obvious from the background that they had taken the photo very shortly after the dust from the battle had settled, although they attempted to position themselves to hide the devastated setting. Cyborg stood off to the right; one of his arms was detached, which Raven assumed was how the picture got taken. Beastboy was hanging off his back and giving an oblivious Robin bunny-ears. Starfire stood beside him, smiling brightly. And on the other end of them stood Arella, a conservative smile on her lips. She looked happier than Raven had ever seen her before.

She couldn’t think of a more wonderful gift than this. It wasn’t anything particularly fancy or exotic… but it fit so perfectly into that little void in her heart that always cried out for some form of bond, of relationship… of family that she never had and always wanted.

For a long time, Raven couldn’t say anything at all.

Beastboy broke the awkward silence. “We all did something… the other presents kinda got torched.”

“Besides,” Cyborg added. “We figured you needed a family portrait.”

It was quiet again for a few moments before Raven could shift her gaze from their picture to their faces.

“I don’t know if we can keep your nightmares away, Raven,” Robin said to her.

“But we will always help you fight them,” Starfire finished. “Always.”

Raven gulped back the emotions that were threatening to make themselves known. She placed the little picture frame on her dresser; she’d move it to her nightstand later once no one was looking. So next time she woke in the middle of the night to bad dreams, she could be reminded of the people that were always watching over her… helping her keep her demons at bay.

“Thank you,” Raven said softly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’re not leaving,” Cyborg suggested.

Raven gave the slightest of smiles and pulled her hood back around her neck once more. “How could I possibly leave after you guys go and do all that?”

“Eeee!” Starfire gave Raven a bone-crushing hug.

“Starfire… I need air… please…”

Once Raven caught her breath again, Beastboy rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Well, now there’s only one thing left to do.” He raced from the room at breakneck speed and returned a few seconds later, holding a brand new cake. A single lit candle was stuck in the icing.

He handed it to Raven. She gave him a somewhat incredulous glance. “You made another cake?”

“What can I say? I’m awesome like that.” He patted her head just to be extra obnoxious. “What would you do without me?”

“Keep petting my head and we’ll find out real fast.”

Beastboy backed off in a hurry, grinning awkwardly. “Heh heh… sorry.” He motioned at the lit candle. “Blow out the candle and make a wish so I can start eating, please.”

Raven stared at the flame blankly. “I don’t really do wishes.”

“Make a wish, or I start singing,” he threatened.

Raven sighed. “Fine…”

She took a long hard look at the candle flame, and let her eyes stray to the faces of her friends. Every day they proved more and more to be the most important aspects of her life. What more did she need?

_Well… maybe one thing…_ Raven took a deep breath. _I wish…_

One little gust was all that was needed to put out the little blaze, and the shadows mingled with the smoke and the first few rays of the morning sun drifting in through the window.

It looked like it would be a promising day.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of LLF Comment Project, whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
> This author replies to comments. Note: if you don't want a reply back for any reason, please feel free to sign your comment with 'whisper' and I will appreciate it (and you!) but not respond. Thank you for reading!



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